Affirmations can be tricky, tricky things.

Affirmations are positive statements designed to focus our attention on having the things we want in life. Many students of the Law of Attraction use affirmations regularly to align with their goals and desires.

A well-constructed affirmation can tap you into the knowledge that all is well, and that you are capable of great things. A well-constructed affirmation can help you attract more and more of the good things you are hoping to manifest with the law of attraction.

A not-so-well-constructed affirmation can leave you feeling bored and uninspired, or even worse, irritated, sad or angry! A not-so-well-constructed affirmation will actually push away the things you want.

Therefore, it’s really important to construct your affirmations with care!

What makes a good affirmation?

There are a number of characteristics of a good affirmation. However, in my opinion, the most important characteristic of a good affirmation is that it feels true. Consider the following:

You are a young woman who just got dumped and who has a bad relationship with your family. You are feeling alone and uncared for. You want to attract in new relationships that make you feel connected and loved, so you decide to practice some affirmations.

You find a few affirmations, and decide to use this one daily: “I am loved.”

Do you imagine reciting the affirmation “I am loved,” over and over is going to feel particularly true to you in this situation?

Probably not. In fact, saying “I am loved” to yourself over and over again when you are clearly NOT feeling very loved is only going to amplify the feelings of being unloved, not loved.

Whenever we feel we don’t have something we want, telling ourselves we have it is a surefire way to establish greater feelings of insecurity.

When we assert something we don’t believe we have, it makes us feel like we are lying to ourselves. It’s not a good feeling. It’s like telling a sad person to smile and be positive when he or she is sobbing uncontrollably. It just doesn’t work, and it only makes the sad person feel worse.

Telling yourself you have something you don’t really believe you have is the wrong way to use affirmations. An affirmation must feel true in order to amplify positive feelings of belief.

If your affirmations don’t feel true, modify them.

So, what do you do? If you want to attract love, are you simply supposed to avoid all kinds of affirmations about love?

No! You can still use affirmations about love, just modify them to make them feel true!

Below are four affirmation modifiers you can use to make your affirmations ring true on a more consistent basis. Consider adding modifiers to adjust your affirmations and make them more effective.

1. “I’m looking forward to…”

When there’s something you want that you don’t have yet, one thing you can affirm is your excitement to get what you want.

Adding the modifier “I’m looking forward to…” to the beginning of your affirmation allows you to focus on what you want in a positive way. It enables you to practice the feeling of positive anticipation, which feels good.

The truth is, you are looking forward to this thing you want. For this reason, this affirmation should always ring true.

For example: “I am wealthy and successful” might not feel too true when you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Instead, change this affirmation to “I’m looking forward to wealth and success.”

2. “It feels really good when I…”

Sometimes, there are things we want again that we’ve had before. In times like this, this modifier is especially useful.

This affirmation modifier allows you to remember (and therefore practice) the feeling of having something you had before in the past.

Practicing the feeling of what you had is a great way to get into better alignment with the desire to have it again. This type of modifier asserts that you’ve done it before and it allows you to feel good about something you’ve accomplished in the past.

For example: “I attract positive people and circumstances” might not feel too true when you’re having a bad day and find yourself surrounded by negativity. In a situation like this, change this affirmation to “It feels really good when I attract positive people and circumstances.”

3. “I am often/frequently…”

Similar to the previous modifier, this affirmation modification asserts that you’ve done it before. This is another great modifier to use when there’s something you’ve had before that you want to experience again.

For example: “I am appreciated” might not feel to true when you’re feeling criticized or overlooked. Instead, try “I am often/frequently appreciated.”

4. “…in many ways.”

This is a great modifier to enhance something you already have some of, but you want more of.

The nice thing about this modifier is that amplifies the knowledge of all of the many ways you already have exactly what you’re asking for. This modifier encourages you to think about and dwell on the many reasons why you are already successful at getting what you want.

For example: “I am prosperous” might feel somewhat true to you because you have a home, a car and some money in the bank. To feel especially true, and to amplify the feeling of prosperity, add the modifier by saying “I am prosperous in many ways.”

Try them out!

I hope you find good use for these affirmation modifications. Use these four modifiers liberally, and play around with them to see which ones work well for the desires you are hoping to attract!

Remember, an effective affirmation makes you feel good because it’s a positive statement that feels very honest and true. Modifiers like these can help you amplify the authenticity of your affirmations.

Do you have any other affirmation modifications you use? Feel free to comment below and share them with me!

XO, Andrea

This article was originally posted at bodymindsoulspirit.com.

About the author
Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of Raise Your Vibration Today, which provides free and easy Law of Attraction techniques. She is also available for group educational seminars and webinars.

I have seen spiritually awakened, amazingly strong people fall into relationships that are sometimes abusive, stressful and manipulative and often wondered –why?

There are probably many reasons this happens, but it seems that strong people are already so good at working on themselves and digging through their own baggage, that often it takes a relationship to really push them out of their comfort zone.

While I have never been in an abusive relationship, when I met my partner it definitely felt as if I was being challenged by the Universe to unearth things that I believe, could only really could be unearthed by entering into a romantic partnership.

I was excellent at being independent and had done a lot of work on myself, but it seemed that entering into a relationship that really mattered, unexpectedly turned my life upside down.

Relationships often teach us the most about ourselves, especially when we are already strong characters.

If you are struggling in your relationship, if you are wondering why you seem to have everything else flowing smoothly in your life except romance, it could be a sign that you are a strong soul that is here to experience deeper, transformative work through “other”.

Here is why strong people often encounter difficult relationships and how to move through it:

Understand that Relationships are Part of Something Bigger

Strong people are often so good when they are on their own, but suddenly they enter into a significant relationship only to discover a whole suitcase of baggage they didn’t even know they had.

It is one thing to work through your own skeletons, but when they are triggered by another person, things can get messy very quickly.

It is important for people in this situation to remember that their relationship is part of something bigger and is there to help bring about growth, change and transformation.

In order for strong people to grow, their relationships often have to present some challenge in order to reach through to the other side.

This is not to say that strong people are forever doomed, but in the early days especially, it could be typical to attract these sorts of challenging relationships.

By focusing on the bigger picture and the growth that is to be had through the relationship, it can sometimes help to keep things in perspective.

Strong people often enter into relationships that also serve a higher purpose that perhaps may not even be revealed in this lifetime.

This is because strong people attract:

1. Many Soulmate Relationships

Strong people are often destined to enter into many soulmate relationships.

Soulmates come into our lives to help challenge our soul in order to grow. Soulmate work can be very heavy, painful and amazing all at the same time, but the ultimate mission is growth of the soul.

It is through these relationships that strong people often do their most healing and self-discovery. This is because they are so good at being independent that merging with another person is where most of their weaknesses are highlighted.

Soulmate relationships also don’t have to be forever, but in terms of growth and evolution, the effects of the relationship are likely to last a lifetime.

2. Healing Relationships

Many strong people are also healers and therefore, will attract partners that need a lot of healing and attention.

Strong people are also generally equipped to handle the pain and emotions of people who need healing, emotional support and comfort, which is why the Universe will bring them together.

Healing is never one-sided however. If you are doing a lot of healing work in your relationship, it is likely that both parties are experiencing the benefits.

Strong people are also often sent to help other souls work through similar patterns or skeletons that they have had to deal with either in this life, or in past lives.

The one thing to be mindful of here is not to get caught up in a one-sided relationship. If you are feeling drained from all the ‘healing’ work, it may be a sign that you need to also shift your way of thinking and being in the relationship in order for it to grow.

3. Karmic Relationships

Often a challenging relationship is full of karma from past lives. Relationships can also trigger things within us that can cause us to feel heavy, confronted and confused.

Karmic relationships are often intense and heavy, especially in the beginning. There can also be a strong, unexplained pull to each other, or even a strong repulsion at times.

Healing old karmic wounds in a relationship is challenging work, but can also be a huge potential of growth and evolution.

When it comes to karmic work, the lessons will continue to follow you from relationship to relationship in order to be healed, released and cleansed.

Strong people often attract a lot of this into their lives because they are strong enough to handle it and have been given the tools they need to work through this karmic energy.

Doing karmic work in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to tolerate abuse or other bad behaviour, but sometimes sticking with the lesson and making your way to the other side can be the most therapeutic thing for your soul.

What Strong People in Challenging Relationships Can Do

1. Give yourself permission to be weak. Often strong people go through life always having to support other people, but challenging relationships can help stimulate the opposite. Allow yourself to be held and supported in the relationship, and resist always having to be the strong one.

2. Learn to soften yourself and melt any barriers you have created surrounding receiving love. Often strong people are very good at giving but they are not so good at receiving.

Watch: The Vibration of Love

3. Understand that all relationships are just experiences that are here to help you grow and evolve into your highest potential. Embrace the challenges that come your way and remember it is all part of the journey.

4. Focus on self-love. When you truly love yourself and make decisions from this place, it will help you to move forward in the relationship.

5. Remember that challenging relationships can sometimes be the most rewarding. When you can move through the issues and into a clearer space, it can create a strong relationship that is often for life.

This article was originally posted at Forever Conscious and used here with permission.

By Tanaaz

Every thought, word and action carries its own vibrational frequency.

It comes back to the Law of Attraction – whether you “ask” for it or not, you are drawn to situations, people or objects that are in line with your vibrational resonance.

The more negative your thoughts, actions and words are, the more negative your vibration, just the same as the more positive your thoughts, actions and words are, the more positive your vibration. However, having said that, it really goes beyond the “positive” and the “negative” and into the two fundamental human emotions – Fear and Love.

Fear has been shown to have a low and short vibration whereas Love has a longer and higher vibration. When we act out of fear, we are calling on a lower vibration resonance whereas when we act out of love, we are aligning ourselves with a higher vibrational resonance and attracting more positive things towards us.

When we are in a negative vibrational pattern, that is we are acting out of fear, we tend to attract situations, people and lessons in our life to bring awareness towards our behaviour. Just the same, when we begin to think on a more positive, or loving note we are able to grow in consciousness and contribute towards the greater healing of the self, planet and all of mankind.

Raising your vibration is definitely not hard to do however, it can be hard to maintain, in fact often it starts with “faking it until you make it”. With constant practice and reminders, you can raise your vibration and begin attracting all on the path of love.

Here are 12 ways to raise your vibration:

1. Gratitude: the most beneficial way to raise your vibration is to count your blessings and really allow your self to experience a deep sense of sheer thankfulness and gratitude. Keep a daily gratitude journal, or keep a list close by to remind you how lucky you truly are.

2. Appreciate: beyond gratitude are daily appreciations. Learn to recognize and appreciate beauty wherever you go, from a simple flower to the beautiful pattern the clouds make. When you begin to notice and appreciate all that is around, you begin to tap into a greater sense of awareness and mindfulness which in turn, raises your vibration.

Watch: Increase Your Conscious Awareness

3. Breathe: Noticing the rise and fall of your breath can help calm the mind and the spirit. Whether you choose to mediate or do breath work, going within and listening to the rise and fall of your inhale and exhale can help to raise your vibration.

4. Meditate: Similar to breath work, allowing your mind to tune out and listening to the stillness within your heart and breath can do wonders for your mood and your vibrational resonance. Whether you prefer guided mediations or sitting in stillness, the wondrous effects of this practice reach both the physical, energetic and spiritual levels.

5. Create: Find something you love to do, such as playing music, cooking, creating art etc and do more of it! When we are engaged and happy in what we are doing, our mood elevates and our vibration does too. When we move into the creative headspace we also help to activate our chakras and still our minds, creating space and awareness.

6. Give: giving from the pureness of your heart has been shown to not only improve your health but it can also raise your vibration. By doing something for someone in need, or donating your time to a local charity, you are not only giving back but you are also giving to yourself.

7. Abundance: when you realize that there is enough on this earth for everyone, and that you are not in competition with anyone, you begin to understand the flow of abundance. Abundance is the complete awareness and acceptance that all your needs will be provided for and that you are given everything you need in order to survive and live a fulfilled life. Trusting in the abundance of the Universe and Mother Earth raises your vibration and in-turn attracts more abundance towards you.

8. Wise with Words: the words you speak and think carry their own powerful vibrational resonance and whether you talk ill about someone else or towards yourself, there is no difference. When we gossip, complain or put others down we align ourself on a negative vibrational path. When we speak and reflect without judgement, and understand that our words carry their own frequency, we begin to raise our vibration.

9. Move: Its not hard to understand that in order to raise your vibration, you must move. The more active you are and the more you exercise, the more energy begins to flow through your body. This flow of energy helps to raise your vibrational resonance and also helps to uplift your mind.

10. Let it Go: Walking around with a victim-like mentality stems from fears developed in our past and the ones we imagine for our future. By letting go and realizing the present moment we can release the fear and begin to understand that we do have control over our lives and how we choose to handle situations. No matter what events present themselves to us, it is our attitude that determines the outcome.

11. Conquer: By conquering a fear you instantly raise your vibration and put yourself on the path of freedom. Fears often stem from ignorance as once we know and understand the situation, we tend to stop fearing it. When you face your fears you also release their control over your life which opens up infinite possibilities and opportunities. When you let go of your fears, you stimulate the energetic flow of abundance, joy and love.

12. Loved Ones: spending time with family and friends is also a great way to raise your vibration and to put you in a positive mind set. Having a meaningful conversation with a loved one can help develop a sense of connectedness and community, both of which help to raise your vibration.

“Everything is energy and that is all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy, this is physics.” – Albert Einstein

This article has originally posted at foreverconscious.com and used here with permission.

 

Do you find that you keep attracting the wrong sort of partner into your life?

Its 2015 and you still haven’t found that perfect someone that you wish to spend the rest of your life with. Instead, you find yourself dating horrible, aggressive, needy or lazy guys or girls who have no similar interests or longevity.

It seems that no matter how hard you try, pray or ask, you just cant seem to attract the right sort of person into your life.

Sound familiar?

You are not alone, statistics show that the average woman will experience four disastrous dates and seven different relationships before finding her life long partner, whereas men will experience four disastrous dates and eight failed relationships before finding his life long partner.

Finding a match is not easy, there are billions of people in this world but really only a select few that can peak our interest. Where do you begin? How can you narrow down the search and attract the perfect partner?

#1: There is no such thing as a perfect person

Whether you want to admit it or not, we all have a few undesirable traits that make us unique and different, whether it’s flaws, skeletons or other bad habits.

Forget about perfect when it comes to relationships. Forget about trying to find someone that checks all your boxes because that person probably doesn’t exist. You want to find someone who is not the perfect person, but a perfect partner and a perfect partner is someone who is so good that their flaws don’t even compare to how good they are. You want to be able to accept their flaws and learn to love and appreciate them as part of their personality.

In return, you want to find someone that accepts your flaws and appreciates them as part of your personality, and the only way you can attract this type of lover into your life is by accepting and appreciating your own flaws first.

When you make peace with who you are and all your so-called undesirable traits, you open up room for someone else to come in and appreciate them with you. Without completing this step, you may constantly find yourself attracting partners who are unaccepting or non-committal.

#2: You attract what you put out there which is exactly what you need

Just ended a date with another jerk? Sorry to say, there is a part of you deep down (probably subconsciously) that is attracting that jerk into your life and for whatever reason, it is necessary for you to encounter this jerk in order to move forward.

While this may be a hard pill to swallow, we are always attracting whatever energy we are putting out there or vibrating. The trap here is that we often have no idea what energy we are vibrating until we start looking at our thoughts, and often our thoughts can be centered around what we don’t want, rather than what we want.

Having fear or lacking confidence and not loving or honoring yourself are all recipes to attract undesirable partners. These undesirable partners that we do attract however, are also there to shed light on how high we value ourselves.

To attract the right partner, focus instead on learning to love and appreciate yourself and monitor your thoughts to ensure that you are focussing on what you want, rather than what you don’t want.

Watch: Find Your Soulmate

#3: We seek our parents in our relationships

Many psychologists have stated that romantic love occurs when our unconscious mind is exposed to the archetype of parental love that we received as a child. This means that we are always searching for people who remind us of our mother or father- whether we want to or not.

Basically on a deeper level, we seek out partners that fill our unfulfilled emotional needs from childhood.

While there is nothing wrong with this, it may give a good understanding as to why we need to experience multiple partners before settling down.

We are always attracted to people for certain reasons, and as we grow and evolve those attractions either die out, or they live on. Without experiencing this cycle to the fullest, it’s hard to know what it is that you truly want from a life long partner.

#4: Your other half is you

Looking for someone to complete you? Look in the mirror, because the only person who is going to complete you is YOU.

Partners are a nice supplement to who we are, and often the right partner can help us to become the best version of ourselves, however you are never going to feel complete by teaming up with someone else.

A healthy, conscious relationship requires both partners to feel full and whole in themselves, that way they can truly be, give and express their best self within the partnership.

#5: Your time is coming

There is a time for everyone, and your time will come too. You are not destined to grow old alone (unless that is what you want). Surrender control, surrender your need and desire to find that one special someone and allow yourself to go with the flow. It really comes back to that old saying- it happens when you least expect it…..As annoying as it is, it’s true.

Stop expecting, stop wanting and see what happens when you allow life to take control.

This post was originally featured at Forever Conscious and used here with permission.

There’s been a lot of buzz in the past few years about the Law of Attraction and the idea that we create our own reality. But is that true? Do we really create our own reality? And if so, why would we create some of the things we’ve created in our lives and in the world? Are we masochistic or just nuts?

The idea was popularized in the late 1970s, in the Seth Material, a group of channeled books by Jane Roberts. It was a radical idea, and it pretty much caused heads to explode all over the place! About 10 years ago, The Secret brought the idea back into the popular culture, as everyone embraced the idea of envisioning themselves to wealth and success.

So, do we really create our own reality?

If so, why aren’t we doing a better job of it, creating more love, joy, peace, and abundance for ourselves and for the world? What’s the holdup? Why aren’t we all out there doing just that?

We are, in fact, divine, powerful creator beings, and yes, we are creating our lives in many ways, on many levels, in every moment. But here’s the rub (er, the disclaimers):

  1. Most of the time, we are creating unconsciously, from deep beliefs, assumptions, and expectations that we may not even know we have (OUCH!), and it is very hard to take responsibility for our role in creating situations that we think are someone else’s fault and that we don’t like and think we would never create for ourselves.
  2. We aren’t creating in a vacuum. As they say, You are God, but so is everyone else! And most of us are totally unaware of that fact! (And many would actually recoil at the notion!) We are co-creating with the millions of other creator beings in the world, who are also creating unconsciously, and who all have different wants, needs, and agendas. And the creations of all those beings often impact each others’ creations (what we see, in our personal lives and in the outer world, is what we get when that happens);
  3. Energizing the vision of what we want is usually only the first step, and sitting on the couch waiting for what we want to miraculously appear won’t work; we must take action (remember the idea of God helps those who help themselves?!)
  4. Once we set the vision, we must let go of the outcome. When we try to control it, we prevent the flow of Magic that can bring us something better than we ever imagined. When we are too specific about what we want and how it will “look,” in essence, we tie God’s hands (it will probably take longer to manifest that perfect mate with those 57 specific attributes than the wonderful mate that has many better qualities than we could think of).
  5. Sometimes we actually get the essence of what we want, but it does not come in the package we expected or look like we thought it should/would, so we don’t even notice that we received it!
  6. There is a timeline—a gap—between our sending out the creative impulse or intention and the manifestation of it. And in the meantime, our impatience, negative beliefs, doubts, fears, and/or lack of action can delay or cancel it, or even create the opposite of what we want! (For example, if we send out the intention to attract more money, a new job, a new love, or whatever—but we subconsciously fear or believe that we don’t deserve it, that there is only a limited supply, that it’s hard to get those things, or that we will fail—those fears and beliefs actually will prevent us from attracting what we want.)
  7. We can often manifest the easy, non-essential things quickly—such as a parking place or the perfect jacket to match those new slacks—simply because we have no deep-seated beliefs against our receiving those things.
  8. There is usually no clear-cut, observable cause-and-effect, and the timeline/gap can vary widely, so it is difficult to practice and “hone our manifestation skills”.
  9. Sometimes we just aren’t supposed to have what we are trying to create, because it is contrary to our life plan, purpose, or highest good. These are the times when we pray, and the answer really is NO!

Often the very situations in our lives that we would like to eliminate are there because of a soul or life plan, and those situations will not shift until we fulfill their purpose, provide whatever service we had planned to provide, learn whatever we intended to learn, overcome our fear, empower ourselves, take action, and shift inside.

For example, if we came into this life with the soul plan to experience a disabling accident or illness—with the idea that the situation would allow us to learn to receive love and assistance, and give others the opportunity to provide it—it is unlikely that any amount of working with the Law of Attraction or envisioning will heal us. Alternatively, if our soul’s life goal was to overcome a disability, and we’ve done our part to learn and grow from the situation, a path to overcoming it will present itself. Of course, “overcoming” may look a little different from what we thought we wanted!

Too often, we view the idea of creating our reality as a quick fix to all our problems, a magical means of controlling our lives and our environment – and even the people around us – through our conscious minds and our egos, to create all those material things and external circumstances that we think we want and need to be happy. Too often, we view the idea of creating our reality as the “magic pill” to make us instantly wealthy and thin (or whatever), while we conveniently bypass the messy, hard parts of learning, growing, and persevering.

But it doesn’t work that way. We all know that there is no such thing as a “magic pill,” even while we hope with all our hearts that there is one, and we’ll find it! In order to bring meaningful, lasting change into our lives, we know, deep down, that we must change our erroneous beliefs, confront our inner demons, face down our fears, put our ego in the back seat, get over our pride and our deeply held needs to control everything and be right all the time, and surrender… and THEN (as if that weren’t hard enough!), we must take actions, even if they are only baby steps, toward our goals. And, when resistance or difficulties show up in our path (and they will, just so we can show the Universe we really want it, and we’re willing to put our money where our mouth is, so to speak), THEN we must work through those obstacles and setbacks, reaffirm our goals and our worthiness, focus on what we want, and keep moving forward with faith, trust, and determination.

Otherwise, we’d miss all the fun, right?

This is not an easy process, but it is THE process (as long as the majority of us believe it is!) It is what life is all about. It is about stripping away the false thoughts and beliefs and fears that keep us imprisoned (in the Hell of our own creation, so to speak). It is about learning to be flexible, rising above challenges, learning and maturing from our experience, learning to trust ourselves and the Universe… and finally getting back to a point where we are truly living as our authentic selves, working with the Universe and not against it, and treating ourselves and each other with love and respect as we learn to peacefully co-exist.

Watch: The Vibration of Love

If we really were here to wave a magic wand and create the life of our dreams (aka what we have been led to think we want), we would all be doing that right now (and probably making a mess)! We would all receive our magic wands in the delivery room, or as a rite of passage when we turned… what? 15? 18? 21? Yikes! Can you imagine a bunch of 15 year-olds with magic wands, able to create anything they want? Hahaha, parents would be disappearing across the planet in record numbers (and they would take broccoli with them)!

So how does it really work?

Inventor Nikola Tesla told us: If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration.

The being(s) called Abraham, channeled through Esther Hicks, teach that we are all creating our reality under the Law of Attraction, based on the vibration we are putting out into the world. In essence, they say that we get back what we put out.

There is a famous adage, As above, so below. The lesser-known—and perhaps more important, in these times of great change—corollary to that is, As within, so without. The Law of Attraction, based on our vibration, explains how that corollary works: We can only attract into our lives people and circumstances that resonate with the vibration we are putting out. This isn’t a new concept, and we’ve had this idea for centuries, although it is usually interpreted to relate only to our actions: We reap what we sow, or, the more contemporary version, What goes around comes around.

The idea of vibratory resonance takes the idea to a new level and gives us another way to work with it. In fact, we are in a continuous feedback loop: Whatever is present in our lives is a direct reflection of the vibrations we previously put out into the world. (And to that, some of us just have to say, OUCH!) What we experience, and how we feel about it, provides the feedback: If we don’t like what we are experiencing and don’t feel good about it, we must raise our vibration in order to attract something better into our experience. Another way to look at it is the idea that doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result, is the definition of insanity. If we want something to change, we must change something about ourselves or what we’re doing.

Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t, you’re right.

~ Henry Ford

But what creates the vibration that we are putting out to the world? It is a combination of our deep—often unconscious—beliefs, our level of self-love and trust, our emotional state (fear, despair, pessimism, or optimism and love), our predominant mindset, and our thoughts, words, and deeds, and where we focus our attention.

It is all, perhaps, an elaborate form of self-fulfilling prophecy. If we believe life is hard, it is. If we believe we can’t get a break, we can’t. If we believe we must suffer to get ahead, we will. If we believe people will let us down, they will. And we may not even consciously know that we are carrying those beliefs! The Universe unerringly gives us what we (unconsciously) expect, and shows us that our deep (unconscious) beliefs are right. And whatever we focus our attention on (the good, the bad, or the ugly) will grow as the Universe tries to give us more of what we want!

It seems like a nasty Catch-22 to realize that, in the midst of difficult circumstances, the most constructive thing we can do is to consciously reach for those higher vibrations:  to force our minds out of victimhood, blaming, complaining, and negativity (or from wallowing in self-pity) and into optimism, hope, trust, forgiveness, and gratitude. It feels like being in a Heads they win, tails we lose situation or, worse, the being butt of a giant cosmic joke on us.

Forgive, o Lord, my little jokes on thee, And I’ll forgive Thy great big one on me!

~ Robert Frost

But our mindset goes a long way in determining our vibration. Optimism has a higher vibration than pessimism. Victimhood, despair, blaming, negativity, and complaining all have low vibrations, as do fear, hatred, irritation, and frustration. Self-loathing and self-doubt? Very low. Laughter, love, joy, hope, gratitude, forgiveness, responsibility, and trust all carry higher vibrations. It’s that old cliché about when your house burns down around you, be grateful that you’re still alive! Not just pretending, but truly grateful! The more we pull ourselves up out of the muck, regardless of what we are experiencing, and reach for something better—trusting that we deserve and can have something better—the more we raise our vibration and set up the vibrational environment to attract and create something better.

The real key to consciously creating lies in acknowledging what is (whatever is presenting in our lives), accepting responsibility for our role in creating it and bringing it into our lives (even if we don’t know how/why we did it), learning whatever lessons we can find from the experience, and working to identify what deep beliefs are being reflected back at us, so we can work to change them. Then we send out the vision of what we want, let go of the outcome, and follow our guidance as it comes. We must let go of the outcome and trust the Universe to do its Magic.

That is where the proverbial rubber hits the road. When we can use the lemons life hands us to make lemonade, we have won the game! When we can see the silver lining in those dark clouds that feel like they are choking the life out of us, we have effectively repositioned ourselves. When we can forgive and feel gratitude for those who have seemingly hurt us (often creating situations in which we must stand up for ourselves or take actions of self-love in the face of our fears), we have cleared the finish line! And when we can flow through challenges—and even disasters—without judgment, trusting that the Universe has our back, that we are safe, and that something good will come from it, we have our feet planted firmly on the road to enlightenment.

That doesn’t mean that we never feel down and never really loathe some of the challenges we encounter. We are only human, after all, and life on earth can be pretty harsh and painful! It just means that when we go down into the pits of despair and self-pity, we choose not totake up permanent residence!

And it doesn’t mean that we blame ourselves or move into guilt about our “failure” to create whatever it is we said we wanted. Unfortunately, too often we move into “New Age guilt,” self-blame, and self-flagellation when we have used all the techniques to create something and we don’t get it. We know it is “our fault” that we haven’t attracted that perfect job with the high salary or the perfect mate who adores us (and makes a high salary). It’s our fault we haven’t cured ourselvesof that chronic disease or healed all of our family relationships. And, because we blame ourselves, we move into existential guilt.

With New Age guilt, instead of blaming other people for our pain, we blame ourselves. We fall into despair and loathe ourselves a little more than we did before. We believe we are failures. We use what (limited amount) we know about the Law of Attraction and creating our own reality to beat ourselves up about our perceived failures instead of using the FEEDBACK we get from the external world (e.g., our life, job, relationship, etc., still sucks!) to guide us inside toward the erroneous beliefs that are stopping us in our tracks. Remember, if we believe we are failures, we will fail at everything, because the Universe gives us the perfect reflection of what we believe! So, instead of helping us be pro-active in ferreting out the fears, resistance, and erroneous beliefs, and releasing them, this New Age guilt puts us into a different kind of loop; it puts us into a cycle of failure, self-blame, and self-loathing, which lowers our vibration and attracts more of the same, or worse. We are very funny creatures, aren’t we, that we would do this to ourselves!?

This is the true meaning of alchemy and the philosopher’s stone: it is the conscious, concerted effort to tame the ego/conscious mind away from its automatic negative responses (fear, guilt, blame, and unworthiness, etc.); to identify, uproot, and change our erroneous, self-defeating beliefs; to relinquish our illusion of control; and to direct our attention, thoughts, attitude, and actions toward higher vibrations, gratitude, and better things. It is tearing our eyes away from doom, gloom, and disaster; focusing on what is good in our lives; and putting our attention and energy into creating the loving, joyous, abundant life we want, and fearlessly taking those baby steps toward it.

Why didn’t we get a manual, so we’d know how to do this?

We actually did get the manual, and it shows up in the sacred texts of all religions. In Christianity, it’s called the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. We also were taught: Love your neighbor as yourself, and (as noted before) We Reap What We Sow. It seems relatively simple, doesn’t it?

Most of us probably think we are good people and we follow these simple instructions, but do we? Do we really treat others the way we want them to treat us? Do we always treat others with the love, respect, acceptance, and support that we wish we could receive? Do we treat everyone that way, or just the people we care about or want to impress? Do we treat people that way when we’re in a hurry? When we’re stressed out? When we’re competing for a job? When we’re feeling ill? Or do we treat others that way only on our “good days” or when we think someone is watching? If we treat others callously, with disregard and disrespect, why would we expect to be treated any differently? We will attract that treatment into our lives.

And how do we treat ourselves? Most of us think we do, but do we really love ourselves? Self-love must come first of all and, frankly, that is where most of us fail, and how we end up creating circumstances that we don’t like. How can we allow others to love us, and how can we love our neighbors, if we don’t really love ourselves? If we fear what makes us different, we will certainly fear what makes others different. If we don’t know how to treat ourselves with love and respect and support, how will we know what it looks like to treat others that way? And if we treat ourselves badly—blaming ourselves and acting as if we don’t matter—how can we expect others to treat us differently?

The best way to jump-start ourselves to higher vibrations and better lives is to consciously focus on all the good in our lives, stop focusing on what we don’t like, and begin spreading love around everywhere – first to ourselves and then to others—treating ourselves and others with the respect and support we want for ourselves, and sprinkling acts of kindness around the same way.

As we head into another amazing year in this Great Shift we are undergoing, it behooves us to monitor our progress by paying attention to what we’re getting back in that vibrational feedback loop (aka the external world) and what that’s showing us about where we need to release our fears, examine our beliefs, and tweak our vibration to get closer to creating and enjoying what we want—not just the specific material things that we think we want, but the qualities of life that we all want and need—love, peace, joy, ease, abundance, and good health!

Related: What Is Reality?

Original source: themindunleashed.org

About the author

Ellyn Dye is an Author, Intuitive Coach, Metaphysical Teacher, and Public Speaker. A near-death experience in 1985 expanded her psychic abilities and created a link with some very loving—and humorous—Guardians of humanity and the ancient wisdom, the Lion People. They provided her with a vast array of information about life on earth and the evolution of mankind, and they opened an ongoing dialogue with her that has grown stronger over time. Ellyn is a popular internet radio guest, and was recently featured on a Fox News segment on NDEs. She publishes a monthly free newsletter, Tunnel Vision, and her articles are published in the December “Predictions Issues” of The Sedona Journal of Emergence. She is author of the metaphysical fantasy novel, The Search for the Crystal Key, and is working on a new book, Creating Heaven on Earth. . . One Soul at a Time; A How-To Manual from the Perspective of a Near-Death Experience. Watch videos, listen to her radio interviews, and find out more about Ellyn and her products and services at www.LionMagic.com