Do you want to have a successful relationship and find it difficult to achieve? These strategies, if applied properly, will make it easier to you.

Good, stable relationships are rare in today’s world. Most people are either looking for the ‘next best thing’ or willing to give up on the love of their life over a few harsh words directed their way. It’s time people grow up. A successful relationship takes commitment, communication and a REAL effort to succeed. Which most people aren’t willing to give due to the rise of ‘tinder’ and other such apps which make sex and love so easy to find and yet so easy to take for granted.

People have become jaded. No one can mean as much to them as they mean to themselves, so they shun and laugh at relationships and even, god forbid, marriage! I’m too free! I want to live my own life! I don’t want to be controlled! Well, if you want to live the rest of your life alone, with the occasional one night stand, then keep doing what you’re doing!

If instead, you actually want to build a successful relationship or reinforce your current one, follow the strategies below:

1. Be willing to make the effort

So many conflicts in relationships go unresolved due to the fact that neither party is willing to even let each other make their point, scared of what the other might say, scared that their fragile little ego will be hurt if they listen to their criticisms. But you have to listen to their criticisms or how else will these conflicts be resolved? You must leave your ego at the door when you are actively trying to engage your partner in resolving whatever may be bothering them. Always be willing to listen to your partner’s concerns, whatever they may be!  You can disagree later on if you have to, AFTER you have heard what they have said.

2. Support each other’s goals

Take the time to understand what they are trying to do with their life and learn how you can better support them to achieve their goals. Not only will this create a greater bond between the two of you, it will also alleviate some of the day-to-day stresses of life by knowing that you both have that support available whenever you need it.

3. Communication

Try and really listen when they are talking to you, and ESPECIALLY when they are arguing with you! When someone shouts at you, it’s because they feel they are not being heard and so they speak louder in the hope that they will be heard. If a negative or hurtful comment is thrown your way, stop yourself from throwing one back and ask them why they are REALLY upset. If it’s anything you have done, apologize!

4. People make mistakes

They may say something out of anger or frustration that they don’t really mean. This doesn’t mean that they ‘hate you’ or that they are a terrible person. It just means what it means. They were angry or frustrated and these emotions boiled to the surface in your direction. Don’t take it personally and above all don’t take it seriously!

5. Learning what they want at the moment

This can take some time to discover if you are new to this relationship but with a little empathy, you can easily discern what they are looking for at any given time. When they are talking about something annoying that has happened to them or are frustrated with something about their life ask yourself “Are they looking for practical advice or sympathy?”, “Are they looking for encouragement or support?” or “Are they looking for attention and physical affection?”

6. Always be respectful

Be respectful of your partner at all times, even when you are arguing! You still love them even if you’re disagreeing with them at the time. If you are not respectful, you will only push them further away. Think of it this way, a fire breaks out in your apartment in the middle of an argument, do you try to escape without your partner? Of course, you don’t. Think about this scenario next time you are arguing to put things in perspective. Sometimes you will never agree with a certain viewpoint, but it doesn’t matter. As long as you respect your partner enough to allow them to believe whatever they to want to believe.

7. Stop being controlling

You either trust someone or you don’t. Acting like a control freak will never build a successful relationship, no matter how much you believe it will or how much your friends tell you it will. Remember, ignore the friends! If you don’t trust your partner, talk to them about it and try to build trust.

Related: How to Attract the Right Partner Into Your Life

8. Ask for advice (From them!)

If you’re feeling lost, ask your partner for advice! Ask them if there’s anything they’re not happy about in the relationship and (if you think it is reasonable) seek to resolve it. Also, ask them to tell you if they are feeling vulnerable or upset at a certain time, so you know to be more careful with your words and to offer a little more support when it’s needed.

9. Always be a team

It should be you and your partner against the world!  Not you, your partner, your parents, your siblings and your friends from the bar. They should be your priority, always. No compromises on this one.

10. Never discuss your relationship problems with friends or family

This goes against everything the modern world has to say about relationships but I encourage you to read on and take this to heart. There are two reasons why you should never discuss your relationship problems with your family:

  • Your family won’t understand. The only thing friends and family will do is make things worse by automatically taking your side and telling you ‘you are correct!’ (whether you are correct or not). All this does is create more conflict, making you believe you have the right to be angry or upset. But how do they know? Have they had a relationship with your partner for as long as you have?  Follow your own inner intuition, coupled with a bit of common sense and you’ll do fine.
  • Talking to your family and friends about your partner’s negative aspects will turn those people against your partner. They will believe everything you tell them and nothing your partner tells them, out of loyalty to you. While this can feel like good support at the time, ultimately it will only damage your relationship further in the long-term. Every time they hear something bad your partner has done (from you), they will reinforce the negative image you have created of your partner, whether this image is correct or not.

11. Let your guard down and be truthful (without being angry)

The hardest one of all, even if they are verbally attacking you, let your guard down. This is when real progress takes place and you create the building blocks for a successful relationship. Even though it may hurt your ego like we discussed earlier, be honest, be truthful and be real with each other. There’s no other way to sort out serious problems in a relationship. Go through it, deal with it and don’t leave their presence until the conflict has been resolved.

Follow the above strategies and you are guaranteed to have a more fulfilling and successful relationship. It may take a bit of work to change your thinking initially, but stick with it and the changes you see will be incredible.

I have seen spiritually awakened, amazingly strong people fall into relationships that are sometimes abusive, stressful and manipulative and often wondered –why?

There are probably many reasons this happens, but it seems that strong people are already so good at working on themselves and digging through their own baggage, that often it takes a relationship to really push them out of their comfort zone.

While I have never been in an abusive relationship, when I met my partner it definitely felt as if I was being challenged by the Universe to unearth things that I believe, could only really could be unearthed by entering into a romantic partnership.

I was excellent at being independent and had done a lot of work on myself, but it seemed that entering into a relationship that really mattered, unexpectedly turned my life upside down.

Relationships often teach us the most about ourselves, especially when we are already strong characters.

If you are struggling in your relationship, if you are wondering why you seem to have everything else flowing smoothly in your life except romance, it could be a sign that you are a strong soul that is here to experience deeper, transformative work through “other”.

Here is why strong people often encounter difficult relationships and how to move through it:

Understand that Relationships are Part of Something Bigger

Strong people are often so good when they are on their own, but suddenly they enter into a significant relationship only to discover a whole suitcase of baggage they didn’t even know they had.

It is one thing to work through your own skeletons, but when they are triggered by another person, things can get messy very quickly.

It is important for people in this situation to remember that their relationship is part of something bigger and is there to help bring about growth, change and transformation.

In order for strong people to grow, their relationships often have to present some challenge in order to reach through to the other side.

This is not to say that strong people are forever doomed, but in the early days especially, it could be typical to attract these sorts of challenging relationships.

By focusing on the bigger picture and the growth that is to be had through the relationship, it can sometimes help to keep things in perspective.

Strong people often enter into relationships that also serve a higher purpose that perhaps may not even be revealed in this lifetime.

This is because strong people attract:

1. Many Soulmate Relationships

Strong people are often destined to enter into many soulmate relationships.

Soulmates come into our lives to help challenge our soul in order to grow. Soulmate work can be very heavy, painful and amazing all at the same time, but the ultimate mission is growth of the soul.

It is through these relationships that strong people often do their most healing and self-discovery. This is because they are so good at being independent that merging with another person is where most of their weaknesses are highlighted.

Soulmate relationships also don’t have to be forever, but in terms of growth and evolution, the effects of the relationship are likely to last a lifetime.

2. Healing Relationships

Many strong people are also healers and therefore, will attract partners that need a lot of healing and attention.

Strong people are also generally equipped to handle the pain and emotions of people who need healing, emotional support and comfort, which is why the Universe will bring them together.

Healing is never one-sided however. If you are doing a lot of healing work in your relationship, it is likely that both parties are experiencing the benefits.

Strong people are also often sent to help other souls work through similar patterns or skeletons that they have had to deal with either in this life, or in past lives.

The one thing to be mindful of here is not to get caught up in a one-sided relationship. If you are feeling drained from all the ‘healing’ work, it may be a sign that you need to also shift your way of thinking and being in the relationship in order for it to grow.

3. Karmic Relationships

Often a challenging relationship is full of karma from past lives. Relationships can also trigger things within us that can cause us to feel heavy, confronted and confused.

Karmic relationships are often intense and heavy, especially in the beginning. There can also be a strong, unexplained pull to each other, or even a strong repulsion at times.

Healing old karmic wounds in a relationship is challenging work, but can also be a huge potential of growth and evolution.

When it comes to karmic work, the lessons will continue to follow you from relationship to relationship in order to be healed, released and cleansed.

Strong people often attract a lot of this into their lives because they are strong enough to handle it and have been given the tools they need to work through this karmic energy.

Doing karmic work in a relationship doesn’t mean that you have to tolerate abuse or other bad behaviour, but sometimes sticking with the lesson and making your way to the other side can be the most therapeutic thing for your soul.

What Strong People in Challenging Relationships Can Do

1. Give yourself permission to be weak. Often strong people go through life always having to support other people, but challenging relationships can help stimulate the opposite. Allow yourself to be held and supported in the relationship, and resist always having to be the strong one.

2. Learn to soften yourself and melt any barriers you have created surrounding receiving love. Often strong people are very good at giving but they are not so good at receiving.

Watch: The Vibration of Love

3. Understand that all relationships are just experiences that are here to help you grow and evolve into your highest potential. Embrace the challenges that come your way and remember it is all part of the journey.

4. Focus on self-love. When you truly love yourself and make decisions from this place, it will help you to move forward in the relationship.

5. Remember that challenging relationships can sometimes be the most rewarding. When you can move through the issues and into a clearer space, it can create a strong relationship that is often for life.

This article was originally posted at Forever Conscious and used here with permission.

By Tanaaz

No matter the relationship, sometimes we tend to say things we regret. We ruin friendships, long term relationships, or we step off on the wrong foot for a budding relationship.

While every person is different, there are some very central ideas that you should never say or do if you are trying to make a relationship last.

1. Never Threaten to Leave

If you are saying that you will leave your partner, how do you expect them to want to stay with you? If you are making them feel insecure, they will go to a place where they feel safe. As human beings, we require stability for personal growth. When it comes to a relationship, you have to harbor those good feelings.

2. Stop Name Calling

The heat of the moment seems to take us all from time to time, but those words you call your partner stick. Not only are you making yourself look bad, but you also make them feel even worse. In a reasonable argument, name calling will only make the issue worse and reduce you to childish means.

3. Don’t Even Mention Family

It is wise to bite your tongue when it comes to family. Let them vent about them, your partner can call their relatives names, berate them and so on. If you do, that is an immediate cause for an argument. Think about it. In school, you always got defensive over your parents even if you hated them. Same thing. Now, you have your partner, the one you are spending your life with, crossing that line. It can be hard to deal with and better just to avoid badmouthing your in-laws in all circumstances.

4. Keeping A Tight Leash

While it may be cute to go everywhere with your partner, you need to make sure they have their own space too. Let them have a night with the guys, or a day out with the girls. We all have our own needs, and when you spend all your hours with your partner, it can cause them to tire of you, or just a lot of the things you do. If you think your partner is snapping at you, see if they would like some time alone with friends. After all, it is better to let them vent and come home happy and ready to discuss the issues.

5. Insulting Their Ways

I am going to overlook the relationships that have only been established for less than six months. After this time, you know the person. You know their routines, you know when they are hangry, and you know that they may not double flush the toilet when they need to. If these issues haven’t already been addressed, you cannot continue to yell at them. If they never cook, and it bothers you, try involving them. Avoid using negative connotations when using words like “never” and “always”. Try to keep it positive.

6. Not Acknowledging Their Emotions

Nothing is worse than allowing your walls to crumble, and you pour out your heart to your partner, and they brush you off or fight you on how you are feeling. Sometimes, you just need to allow them to cry and get their emotions out. In the meantime, be supportive and respectful. There will be times where your input is needed, and other times, a tight hug will do all the speaking that needs to be done.

Relationships are constant works in progress. Each couple has their own dynamic. Some are explosive; others are the tranquil duo. No matter where your relationship falls, know that it is something special, and with the commitment you can fix any situation you may be in.

Related: 4 Thought Patterns That Hinder Your Relationship

Credits: This article was originally posted at lifeadvancer.com and used here with permission.

By Brittany G.

We all know those people who radiate positivity, energy and confidence, no matter their personal situation. Those kinds of people have a natural charm that just makes them irresistible and a pleasure to be around. But what exactly makes those people so irresistible? How do they capture the attention and hearts of everyone around them?

Here are the five secrets you can start using today to make yourself irresistible:

1. Respect Others

Respecting others and treating others with respect is one of the most important secrets of being irresistible. They believe all people are equal and, more importantly, they’re no more important than anybody else. Whether it’s your boss, a celebrity, a waiter or the cleaner at your apartment – treat everybody with the same level of respect and you will be well on your way to becoming irresistible. The age old saying “treat others as you would like to be treated yourself” isn’t just a useless saying, it’s a great way to live your life and view how you treat other people.

2. Know That People Are Important

Placing a strong emphasis on people and connecting with others is one personality trait that makes irresistible people the way they are. This is not to be confused with fakery, however, as irresistible people maintain a genuine interest in others, rather than a superficial one.

Similarly, irresistible people don’t focus on small talk, they prefer meaningful conversations that involve getting to know other people and finding out what makes them tick. Automatically using small talk when you approach people puts their mind on auto drive, which means they’re not focusing on you or building any real relationships. Irresistible people know how to create meaningful moments and connections with people, even during a brief everyday conversation.

3. Be Approachable

Being approachable and smiling is another main trait of an irresistible person. Smiling reduces the appearance of being stand-offish and people would be more likely to approach a smiling, friendly person than somebody who has a strong case of “resting bitch face.” Irresistible people generally attract like-minded people, so showing you’re friendly, positive and willing to speak to new people, you will be more open to attracting these kinds of people into your life.

4. Have a Passion

Being passionate about life as a whole as well as having hobbies and areas of interest that you’re particularly knowledgeable about will make you irresistible to others. Positivity spreads and if you’re giving off positive vibes to everybody you speak to, as well as having plenty of conversational topics to speak about, they will be dying to stay around you and get to know you better.

5. Look Good

Making an effort to ensure you’re clean and groomed is an imperative aspect of being irresistible. Nobody wants to be around somebody who smells and doesn’t take care of their appearance. Similar to cleaning your house before somebody visits you, taking care of your personal appearance ties in with showing others respect. But be careful, there’s a fine line between grooming yourself and being vain. Don’t go over the top, it is not necessary.

To become appealing and irresistible to others takes practice. Hone in on those skills that make you a better person, and once you start putting them into practice, others will start to notice too. Remember, concentrate on others, always make sure they feel comfortable, relaxed, respected, understood and seen and you are well on your way to becoming irresistible.

This post was originally published at lifeadvancer.com and used here with permission.

By Christina L.

As we try to build relationships to be the best they can be, we often let ourselves dwell on negative thoughts that will ruin a relationship over time.

While many think that these fears are just passing thoughts, for some they are just moments of doubt. However, for many more, there is a fear that is always gnawing in the back of their mind.

Are you a victim of these four relationship killer fears?

1. My Partner Will Leave Me

This fear is the most common and most devastating fear many couples have to endure. There are two sides to this fear on how to handle it. On the one hand, you will always strive to be a better person, to keep that person’s interest, it makes you as a couple better.

Yet, there is the instability aspect: if you are the best you can be and you still feel like you, and your partner are on shaky ground, there may be underlying reasons as to why. In this case, it may be best to evaluate your relationship in the most objective matter. Are they actively trying to make the relationship secure or are you following along wherever they venture?

2. I Know I Am Going to Get Hurt

I have to say this, this is something a lot of girls are notorious for, and it gets old fast. Not only does your partner start to feel pushed away over time, that simple statement means you do not want your relationship to get serious. When you are dating, there will be make-ups and break-ups, some are nastier than the others.

You need to ask yourself if your current partner has done anything for you to elicit that wall. If they haven’t, either take it down or realize you will be falling into a vicious loop of a self-fulfilling prophesy.

3. I’m Not Good Enough

When I hear people spewing this, I have to get a little mad. For one, if you feel like you are not good enough, do something to validate yourself. Two, if you feel like you are good enough, yet your significant other tells you otherwise, believe them. It is very hard to keep a relationship going when you have to build your partner constantly back up because they get into a loop of self-caused depression. Provide them with as much support as you can spare, but if they are the one taking you for granted, be sure to keep those feelings in check.

As a side note, if your partner starts saying that, it may be that they do not feel appreciated. It never hurts to just out of the blue say “I appreciate everything you do for me.” It does make someone’s day when they hear that.

4. I’m A Failure

You see, the funny thing about that statement is that it is one of the most incorrect statements ever made by mankind. How can you be a failure when you have lived this many years? Humans are flawed by nature but here you are, alive and breathing. Your past is just that, the past, don’t let yourself or your partner think those negative thoughts. Take it for learning experiences and move on. If you hold on to all that baggage, you will never be able to make strides towards a more promising future. Everything is achievable in time, take small steps before you decide to leap.

Relationships take constant work, and not a single one is perfect. All of us argue, but it is how we come together to resolve those issues that make us stronger. Instead of falling into a trap of negative thinking, allow your partner or be the one offering support. Often, a person just needs to know someone else is willing to fight a battle with them. Embody confidence, honesty, and trust.

This post was originally featured at lifeadvancer.com and used here with permission.

By Brittany G.