How can you turn problems into opportunities?

There is a known saying that says “We can’t choose the crises, but we can choose how to deal with them.” Finally, the way we deal with crises in life will determine if they are a great opportunity or a great condemnation, a great gift or a great punishment.

Let’s look at four steps, with which we can turn problems into opportunities, punishments in gifts, hardships in blessings.

1. Resist External Voices

Some of the largest and most successful personalities we know have repeatedly confessed that their road was full of thorns. They encountered rejections, obstacles, belittlement… and yet they turned their difficulties and problems into opportunities.

– Albert Einstein started talking when he was 4 years old. His teachers and parents thought he had a problem. He expelled from school and later failed the exams to enter the Swiss Polytechnic Institute in Zurich.
– Walt Disney was fired from a newspaper because “he was not having the imagination or good ideas.”
– The Alchemist of Paulo Coelho has sold only 800 copies in the first edition and the publisher decided to withdraw it. Today is the fifth best-selling book of all times with 65 million copies.
– The modeling agents of Marilyn Monroe thought that she had to follow a career as a secretary.
– Beethoven’s teachers thought that he was not susceptible to the violin and that he could never make it as a composer.
– Mahatma Gandhi was afraid to speak in public and during his first case as a lawyer, he left the courtroom.
– The teacher of Elvis Presley in high school told him that he could not sing.
– Michael Jordan was dismissed from the basketball team of the school.
– The novel of J.K. Rowling’s, “Harry Potter”, was rejected by 12 publishers.
– The actor Sidney Poitier was told, during a hearing, to “stop spending the time of people and become scullion or something.” Later in his career won Oscar and became one of the most respected actors.
– Vincent Van Gogh at the beginning only sold one painting for 400 pennies. That didn’t stop him from completing 900 projects, which today are worth millions.
– Thomas Edison’s teachers said he was “too stupid to learn anything.” Eventually, he was he who built the electric lamp.

The common element of all these people is that they didn’t give up at the first rejection nor the second nor the third… Discard the fear of rejection and try again. What people say to you is their own truth, not your own.

2. Take responsibility for Your Problems

Things do not happen to you but happen FOR you. Things do not happen by luck but through your effort, you succeed! This is a very difficult but important perspective, that if you keep it, you inevitably will lead to a question: “Why is this happening to me?” And the answer can be no other than one which regards yourself alone. What choice, belief or attitude of your past brings you face to face with the present difficulties?

When you take responsibility for your problems, you authorize yourself to find the solution. As long as you refuse to adopt this attitude, so will you meet, always, problems, difficulties, and hardships, which would authorize others to redeem you -and of course this will never happen. Your problem, your solution!

3. Do Not Stop Moving

The worst thing you can do when you are confronted with difficulties is to be paralyzed by fear and fall into inertia. Unfortunately, this is a trap that many people fall when encountering major problems. However limited you think your potential are, you shouldn’t stop trying for new solutions, asking for help, “downloading” ideas and trying to apply them. If you have followed the first two steps, the more likely you will find a solution.

4. Adapt

Finally, if you have done everything and the situation does not change or is out of your control, then remains the last and perhaps most important step, adaptation. Charles Darwin said: “It is not the strongest of the species that survives, nor the most intelligent, but the ones most adaptable to change.” And it is a great truth. Moreover, what we are today is due to the resilience of millions of species before us. So this is the most guaranteed recipe billion years.

If you can’t change the situation, change yourself. Maintain your principles, but change the way you see things. The greatest nonsense we do is that we stick to an old way of perceiving things, which doesn’t serve us anymore.

And of course, one should not be surrender without a fight, but when you feel that you did everything you could to change the situation, then… Just let go. Hermann Hesse said, “No permanence is ours; we are a wave that flows to fit whatever form it finds.” As soon as you decide that you can’t wait for the situation to change and decide to adapt, you will feel a deep relief on the depth of your being.

So, do not let others limit your dreams and goals, take responsibility for the problems and their solutions and try to apply many different solutions. If the situation does not change, then change yourself. This is the “recipe” to turn problems into opportunities!

This article originally appeared at enallaktikidrasi.com. It translated by Visual Meditation.

A team of Swedish researchers found that the presence of a receptor that regulates general serotonin activity in the brain correlates with people’s capacity for transcendence, the ability to apprehend phenomena that cannot be explained objectively. Scientists have for long suspected that serotonin influences spirituality. They found that drugs known to alter serotonin such as LSD also induce mystical experiences. If this neurotransmitter is released in huge quantities into the body, the individual will reach a higher state of consciousness. An immense feeling of joy and happiness takes over (4).

Have you ever come across the term LSD? Well, I’m sure you have. LSD or lysergic acid diethylamide is a powerful drug that can make or mar. While it can churn out millions for the peddler it can ruin the one who ingests it. So notorious is this one that the mere possession of it can see you to the gallows. Now what offence can LSD commit? Why are the ones introduced to it ready to throw away every penny they have just to buy it? Let’s find out.

In 1938 Albert Hoffman a Swiss Scientist, synthesized LSD while researching lysergic acid derivatives, from the ergot fungus that grows on rye. While re-synthesizing LSD he accidentally absorbed a small quantity of the same through his fingertips. He experienced something unfamiliar, something strong. It was the strong effects of LSD (1).

Related: The Perceptual Adaptation Experiment of George Stratton and Synaesthesia

Later on in the 1940s, LSD made its entry in the health market under the name Delysid. It was marketed to psychiatrists as a tool for understanding psychosis and for facilitating psychotherapy. A patient administered Delysid could capture repressed memories. The psychiatrist could get an insight into the patient’s mind via a primary process induced by the hallucinogen. The drug found widespread acceptance. Timothy Leary, a lecturer in Psychology at Harvard University in the 1950s, was a great advocate of LSD. But in 1965 it was banned in the US. Timothy Leary was tried for unlawful possession of marijuana cigarettes and put behind bars. He was sentenced to 30 years (1).

What actually happens when you ingest LSD?

When ingested LSD acts on specific receptors in the body and binds with them. A feeling akin to pleasure and ecstasy sweeps through the being. But what has LSD got to do with serotonin? Well, the specific receptors are none other than serotonin receptors themselves. 5HT type 2 receptors are the receptors where the entire serotonin binds. These receptors are there within all and the correct peptide that ought to bind there is serotonin itself. The power of serotonin peptide is so great that LSD is no match for it. But to experience it one needs to reach a point called unconditional love. Serotonin unlike other peptides has the power to hold sway over the human mind and body. Made up of tryptophan amino acid, serotonin peptide is a potent mood booster. It is a powerful antidepressant and anti- anxiety peptide. At the physical level it has amazing anti-aging properties. It eliminates the free radicals that accelerate the aging process. A low-level of the peptide can result in eating disorders and obesity (2,3).

Serotonin or 5-hydroxytryptamine is a monoamine neurotransmitter that was initially believed to be produced in just one location in the body i.e. the brain. However as research on the topic advanced, it was found that 95% of the total serotonin in the human body is produced in the gut, in the enterochromaffin cells. The rest of the serotonin is synthesized in the serotonergic neurons of the central nervous system. The brain cannot depend upon serotonin supply from outside sources i.e. the gut because it i.e. serotonin, is incapable of crossing the blood-brain barrier that protects the brain from external invasions. Hence, the brain has to source its requirement of the neurotransmitter from within (3).

Serotonin contributes to the feeling of well-being and hence, is often referred to as the ‘happiness hormone’. The gut bacteria aid in the production of this neurotransmitter. It imparts a sense of love within the gut in an individual and is also actively involved in preventing depression and regulating sleep, appetite and body temperature. However its influence is not limited to the gut alone (3).

Studies have revealed that serotonin is a potent accelerator critical to maturation of the brain. It has a powerful influence on the brain neurons responsible for mood, sexual desire and functioning, appetite, memory, learning and social behavior. Deficiency of the peptide can lead to autism and Down syndrome (3)

When serotonin is produced in a balanced  amount an immense spiritual feeling takes over. Serotonin is the hormone and the neurotransmitter that makes one feel the spiritual bliss and wellbeing.

References:

(1) Acid Dreams: The Complete Social History of LSD: The CIA, the Sixties, and Beyond- Martin A lee
(2) LSD: Doorway to the Numinous: The Groundbreaking Psychedelic Research into Realms of the Human Unconscious – Stanislav Grof MD
(3) 5-HTP: Nature’s Serotonin Solution – Ray Sahelian
(4) The Science of Emotions: Dr Fahad Basheer

About the author

Dr. Fahad Basheer is an author, writer  and a trainer. He is a highly influential independent researcher of consciousness, mind body continuum system and its applications in medicine.He has specialized in NLP psycho therapeutics. He is the author of the book “The Science of Emotions”. He has published numerous articles to different magazines and Medical Journals. Follow Dr.Fahad Basheer on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dr.fahadbasheer/ & Twitter.

This article was originally created and published by Waking Times and is published here under a Creative Commons license with attribution to WakingTimes.com.

The search for love and trying to keep a codependent relationship can sometimes prove to be very painful.

In other words, love is not always what it should be. The development of your own identity and the solid feeling of self may sound difficult missions; however, they also form the basis we need, if we want to develop a healthy relationship with another person. The ideal would be to have already solved these issues, but often people come into a relationship, while still trying to build a good relationship with themselves. That is why it is important for you to be able to recognize the characteristics of a healthy relationship and to distinguish it from a codependent relationship, which only problems can cause.

Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

The basic foundation of a healthy relationship is respect -respect for yourself and your partner. This includes: 1) responsibility and acceptance of your own errors, 2) trust, 3) sincerity in communication, 4) cooperation through joint decisions and willingness for mutual compromises, 5) safety and respect for the personal space of the other, and finally, 6) support and assessment of options and views of the other, even if they are different from yours.

Characteristics of a Codependent Relationship

1. You use the relationship to fill a gap

Similar to drug addiction, addiction to love uses love to secrete dopamine for pleasure and endorphins to numb the pain. Although these may be the benefits of a healthy, balanced relationship, when we desperately need them just to feel good about ourselves and to face life, it is a sign that we have crossed the threshold of the codependent relationship.

2. You are sacrificing parts of yourself to satisfy your partner

A healthy relationship improves and enhances the person you are and not the opposite. If you find yourself in a situation where you suppress part of your identity, you only harm yourself and eventually your relationship. Very often, the parts of a codependent relationship expect reciprocity in their sacrifices, they eventually don’t get it and end up feeling hurt, abandoned and bitter.

Related: How to Attract the Right Partner Into Your Life

3. You don’t put limits

If you start with a set of rules that set a certain limit for how much time you spend with your partner and how much to other activities, but soon fall into the trap of rejecting and ignoring these commitments, you may create in this way the basis for the development of a codependent relationship. The key is to maintaining balance throughout the course.

4. You struggle and are afraid to express what you think

If you feel uncomfortable to say what’s on your mind because you are afraid that you will be judged or you worry that what you say will not be what your partner wants to hear, in fact, you are depriving yourself of the opportunity to have an open, honest relationship. The reluctance for honesty can only turn back to you like a boomerang and make you sooner or later dispute the level of honesty of you partner too.

5. You become obsessive in your attempt to control the relationship and its result

A healthy relationship means a relationship that constantly worked on both sides. Part of this involves the acceptance of the fact that you may not know exactly how it will evolve. Relationships are unpredictable but this mysterious journey is something you have to do together and enjoy both, equally.

6. You experience intense fear that you will lose this relationship

If you have something good in your life, it makes sense to want to keep it. But sometimes you need to step back from your relationship and remind yourself that everything will go well for you, regardless of what is going to happen, whether that person is in your life or not. The hostesses teach us to put the oxygen mask first on ourselves and then help others to put it. It is, therefore, important to realize that your partner is neither your own oxygen mask nor the only hope to breathe.

The recognition of the warning signs of a codependent relationship is the half battle. At the end of the day, a healthy relationship can make you feel safety, comfort, and freedom. When you and your partner allow each other to unfold all the expressions of your individuality, mutual respect and support will emerge at once. And this is true love.

This article originally appeared at enallaktikidrasi.com. It translated by Visual Meditation.

Do you repeat the same mistakes in your relationships? Have you ever wondered why this happens?

When you look back at your past relationships, do you ever notice a pattern? Do you always make the same mistakes and fall for the emotionally unavailable ones (guilty!), the manipulators, or those that cheat?

Apparently, there is a neurological and psychological explanation for this behavior.

Humans are creatures of habit, in a professional, friendship and romantic capacity. You end up doing the same things over and over because it feels easy and comfortable to you. It’s common to avoid the unknown because you don’t know where it will lead… even though you are looking for happiness.

According to a psycho-emotional philosophical author, we, in fact, are not looking for happiness but familiarity. Attachment theory tells us what your future relationships are going to be like. How your parents treated you and acted towards you as a child will affect how you relate to people. These relationships when you were younger, will have given you a model as to how relationships should be.

According to de Botton, the author, you unconsciously look for your parents in your future romantic relationships. Your romantic partner does depend on the attachment you had as a child.

60% of people who underwent the study have secure attachment. The other 40% have an insecure attachment, which is further broken down between avoidant and anxious attachment.

What is an insecure attachment?

If one of your parents wasn’t around or didn’t give you much attention, you might end up with anxious or avoidant attachment. This could lead you to search for a partner who is emotionally unavailable. If you were abandoned as a child, you might look for love where you have to earn the other person’s love.

An anxious attachment person may need to be with their partner constantly. They might also need the frequent reassurance of their partner’s feelings. If you are a dismissive-avoidant person you can emotionally detach yourself from relationships. This makes you feel independent, you have learned to depend only on yourself.

How to change these attachments

When you repeat the same mistakes in your relationships, it is down to psychological and neurological issues. Your brain is trained to head towards familiar paths and this does make it difficult to change this behavior. You must first there recognize the pattern of picking the wrong people, it might take time, and it will be painful, but its down to you to recognize your pattern.

Once you have established this pattern, take small, slow steps to change it. This will also be difficult, if you are attracted to emotionally unavailable people, for example, you should cut ties with these people, your brain might try to tell you they will change, but they won’t. So you must. This new behavior will train your brain to follow a slightly different path, and in turn, you will no longer make the same mistakes, and instead pick people who will make you happy and feel secure.

This article was originally appeared at Life Advancer and used here with permission.

By Holly W.

Opening your mind can be just as important as opening your heart. When you open your mind, your life shifts from a place of limited, narrow thinking into a big, expansive thinking that is filled with unlimited opportunities.

To shift to this place, all it takes is a few simple tweaks to your mindset.

The Growth Mindset

When you operate from a growth based mindset, life takes on a whole new meaning. Every opportunity or experience that is sent your way is viewed as a potential, rather than a burden.

Even though it can be difficult to see potential when you are in the midst of a storm, having a growth based mindset allows you to think bigger and shift your awareness to a higher state of mind.

The Fixed Mindset

Living life through a fixed mindset keeps you rooted in fear and in self-doubt. It also is very difficult to see the opportunities that life throws your way when you are in a fixed mindset.

If you are looking to shift your life towards your highest path, you have to open your mind and operate from a place of growth, rather than fixity.

Here are 5 ways to shift into a growth based mindset and keep yourself out of a limited or fixed mindset:

1. Life’s Challenges

When you are in a growth mindset, all challenges that present themselves are viewed as an opportunity for growth. Even though they may seem difficult or hard, challenges are what keeps us moving forward. Challenges also allow us to explore new depths of our potential and strength.

Those operating from a fixed mindset however, avoid or shy away from challenges. They don’t embrace them as a potential point of growth and instead get caught up in victim mode. They may also find themselves complaining about the problem instead of focusing on the solution.

2. Trusting You Are Supported

When you are in a growth based mindset, you feel and know that you are supported. You are not afraid of making a wrong turn or ending up on the “wrong path” because intuitively you know that everything is simply a learning experience.

When you are in a fixed mindset, it can be very difficult to trust yourself and the world around you. You may also find yourself believing that the world is against you or that you are competing against others.

In a growth based mindset however, you know that what is yours will always come your way, and that competition is a merely an illusion.

3. Pursuing Your Dreams

When you are in a growth based mindset, the world is your oyster and there is nothing stopping you from achieving all that you want for yourself. You may understand that there are twists and turns on the road ahead, but ultimately you trust and know that whatever is yours will find you.

When operating from a fixed mindset, it can be very difficult to dream big or think outside the box. It can also be challenging to make a leap of faith towards pursuing what you really want to do. You may feel blocked, reserved or restricted in some way, but this is often just your mindset.

Operating from a growth based mindset allows you the faith and confidence to go after what you truly desire.

4. Influence of Others

When you are in a fixed mindset, it is very easy to take on other people’s opinions, criticisms and energy as if it were your own. Being in a fixed mindset turns you into a somewhat of a victim and can really hold you back from doing what it is that you really want to do.

When you are in a growth based mindset, you are open to other people’s suggestions but you don’t allow them to stand in your way. You are also able to listen and seek value in criticism, without taking it personally.

While this can be hard to do, when you operate from a growth based mindset it shifts how you allow other people to affect you.

5. Success 

When you are in a growth based mindset, you rejoice in other people’s successes and view success by your own terms. Success takes on a new meaning for you and is bigger than just financial or material gains.

When you are in a fixed mindset, the success of others can make you jealous and success is based on what other people think of you, rather than your own definition.

The easiest way to shift from a fixed mindset into a growth based mindset is awareness. When you can become aware of your thinking and how it is holding you back, that is when you can make changes.

Watch: Increase Your Conscious Awareness

In many ways, achieving a growth based mindset is simply about reminding yourself every day that life is not happening to you, but for you.

“If you are gonna make a change, you are gonna have to operate from a new belief that says life happens not to me but for me.” -Tony Robbins

This article was originally appeared at Forever Conscious and used here with permission.