Stop! Just stop! I want you to refrain, from this day forward, from being a people pleaser. It’s unhealthy and it’s gradually breaking down your reserves. I know this because I used to be a please-all-people victim myself. Until I learned to live differently.
What is a people pleaser?
IF you have problems with saying no and feel unsatisfied if you cannot help someone, you may be a people pleaser. Those who are always striving to make others happy, by sacrificing their own happiness, are sometimes just called kind individuals. Sometimes, however, there’s too much sacrifice and not enough self-care. Before you realize the weight of your sacrifices, you may already be a people pleaser.
But there’s hope! You can change the way you see your life and the people around you. All you have to do is STOP! Stop trying to make everyone happy while losing yourself! Here are 8 ways you can change your life today!
The first thing you must do is confront the issue. Ask yourself a few questions to get started, such as, “Why can’t I say no?”, or “Who am I trying to impress?” When coming face to face with the facts, you can recognize your main obstacles. From here, you can start to change your ways.
2. Just say NO!
Start off slow. Practice saying no to people who are accustomed to hearing constant affirmations. Believe me, it’s okay to say no, to choose your own way for a change. Others use this word, and so should you. It will prove you have a backbone after all.
3. Know your Worth
As you practice saying no, spend some alone time. On those days that you chose not to go out, you can learn things about yourself, most importantly, your worth. Knowing your worth will help you transition from a people pleasure to a healthy individual. Knowing your worth helps you understand your limits as well, eliminating some of the stress from people pleasing tendencies.
4. Speak Up!
Another way to lose the self-sacrifice is to speak up about how you feel. If you’re in a group of people and you wish to be heard, practice making yourself noticeable. IT’s okay sometimes to draw attention to yourself if what you have to say is going to improve the conversation or strengthen your own reserves.
5. Do something for yourself
Spend some time doing nice things for yourself. Go shopping, eat at a nice restaurant or go for a walk -do all these things alone occasionally, and learn to appreciate yourself. It’s not just about helping others, sometimes it’s about helping yourself.
If you’re confused about whether to help someone or not, compromise. Talk with people about your morals and limitations, and if they are stretching those boundaries, try a compromise. Although saying no is good, sometimes compromise is better. You have to be the judge of each situation.
7. Examine the roots of your problem
Examine deeper roots of why you always want to please others. Were you neglected as a child, or did you always feel the need to work harder than your siblings? You might be surprised by the past influencers in your life. Learn your negative roots and focus on your positive growth.
8. Dump those Toxic People
And finally, sometimes none of these tactics will work. IN that case, you may have to cut some people out of your life. These people, the ones who are never satisfied and make life harder for you than it should be, they are toxic people. Toxic people will destroy you and continue their lives as if nothing ever happened. Get rid of them immediately!
Stop being a people pleaser. You weren’t put on this earth to serve others and neglect your own well-being. Now is the time to use this strategy to improve your life, and maybe help others as well. After all, we are always a work in progress. Let’s be the best person we can be, and enjoy life to the fullest!