On the surface, forgiving your parents (or anyone for that matter) may seem insignificant but forgiving your mother or father is actually the best thing you can do for the quality of your life. Even low-grade parental blame and resentment perpetuate a cycle of emotional pain and suffering that can negatively affect your adult relationships, finances, and overall wellbeing, ultimately preventing the love, abundance and happiness you desire and deserve.

If you have no comparison, you might not notice the amount of energy it takes to hold onto an emotional wound or even a small grudge, but holding onto anger, resentment or any form of hostility requires a tremendous amount of life force energy and this energy is non-refundable. Decades of anger and resentment can cut years off your life, and you wouldn’t even know it. Think of it like throwing hundred dollar bills into the toilet each day, except life force energy is infinitely more valuable than all the money in the world.

The Cycle of Suffering

Without healing our childhood wounds and subsequently forgiving our parents, we stay emotionally stuck at the age of our earliest wounds, and because this causes us to repeat the cycle of suffering, we keep experiencing an adult version of our childhood wounds.

For instance, let’s say you haven’t forgiven your mom for missing your tenth birthday or healed the resulting feelings of abandonment; whenever this issue is triggered by a current day experience (ex: someone forgets to call you), the original emotional wound is activated and you drop into an unconscious reaction. For all intents and purposes, you become your wounded ten-year-old self, and because you feel the same pain you felt then, you react by lashing out or shutting down.

Because an emotional reaction is an automatic response to an unhealed wound, there is little or no control over emotions or behavior, and this dynamic can result in a series of current day relationship issues. Year after year, the cumulative effect of emotional reactions can destroy the quality of our most important relationships.

Law of Attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, we unconsciously attract people who trigger our emotional wounds, and this is why a person with abandonment issues attracts potential partners who have commitment fears; not as punishment or karma but rather because our higher selves want us to heal and will use every opportunity to bring our wounds to the forefront. Unfortunately, this means that unhealed emotional wounds can prevent you from meeting your ideal partner or soul mate, and even if you do find each other, the turbulent nature of emotional wounds is known to sabotage even the most ideal partnership.

Blame Perpetuates Pain

Blaming your parents not only keeps the wound alive, it also tells your subconscious mind that your parents currently have power over you or your life, and, therefore, blame programs you for disempowerment. Like a virus, this dynamic can spread to every facet of your life. Additionally, whenever we blame another, we become entangled with their energy and stay entangled until we let go, and, consequently, we cannot grow beyond the parent we blame.

Of course, it’s no big surprise that forgiveness is the key to emotional freedom, but, in most cases, forgiveness is easier said than done. But why?

Why is forgiveness so difficult?

First, you must realize that blame, anger, and various related emotions are defensive guards that protect you from future harm. Since true forgiveness requires you to release this defense, the very act of forgiveness creates emotional risk. Therefore, to forgive your parents, you must trust they won’t hurt you again, but, the hard truth is, you can never be certain – there is no way to control or predict another person’s behavior, and sometimes loving people do hurtful things.

If you are still vulnerable to being hurt, forgiveness could destroy the only defense you have, and, if this is the case, your protective ego will not allow you to forgive. Therefore, before you can forgive, you must eliminate the risk of emotional harm, and this inevitably means self-responsibility.

Responsibility Before Forgiveness

There’s no way around it, as long as you blame or shift responsibility in any regard, you give others the power to hurt you, and as long as you give others the power to hurt you, you’re going to be hurt. Therefore, the only way to prevent emotional harm is by releasing blame and taking full responsibility for every emotion you experience, but there is no point assuming responsibility if you don’t also uncover the dynamics behind your childhood issues. Therefore, to make yourself immune to emotional harm, you must pinpoint the hidden cause of your childhood wounds, and once you do, I will show you how to heal it now.

Understanding the True Nature of Emotional Wounds

We often confuse an emotional wound with the event or experience that caused the wound, but the actual wound is not the situation or circumstance. An emotional wound is the disempowering belief we adopted in response to the experience. Without needing to analyze the details, the core emotional wound is virtually always unworthiness, and, in fact, unworthiness (or conditional worthiness) is the core wound of every other emotional wound.

All children have emotional needs that must be met to feel worthy of love and life; these needs include approval, acceptance, appreciation, understanding, validation, respect, etcetera. Although children require all emotional needs to be fulfilled, one emotional need almost always stands out from the rest, and because this is usually the need least met, it is the emotional need most associated with worth, and, as a result, it becomes the child’s Primary Emotional Need (PEN).

Children naturally adopt beliefs that explain why one or both parents fail to provide this emotional need, so when a child doesn’t receive approval, for example, the child naturally believes she is unworthy of approval, or more likely, she believes she must meet certain conditions to prove she is worthy. Hypersensitive to this need being met, she automatically interprets approval as proof of worthiness and judgment as proof of unworthiness, and this is why judgment can cause intense emotional pain even in adulthood.

Here’s the thing: like every human being, you were born unconditionally worthy, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prove, improve, or disprove worth. Therefore the emotional pain associated with believing you are unworthy is due to the fact it is completely untrue! Emotional pain is a warning system that alerts you to false beliefs.

Why do we need to be warned of false beliefs?

All disempowering beliefs, such as unworthiness, powerlessness, and victimhood, put us into survival mode, and over time can cause chronic and acute issues with serious repercussions, and, therefore, we need a warning system that alerts us to debilitating beliefs. This warning system is emotion, and, in fact, the purpose of emotional pain is to alert you to the fact you believe a falsehood. Just like physical pain alerts you the second you prick your finger with a knife, so you won’t cut your whole finger off, emotional pain alerts you to harmful beliefs so you can release them.

Without knowing that emotional pain is a sign of a false belief, most of us wrongly interpret this pain; so whenever we feel the emotional pain associated with unworthiness, the pain makes us believe the belief is true, thereby strengthening the belief and deepening the wound, and this perpetuates a cycle of emotional pain.

Furthermore, this internal warning system will stop at nothing to make you aware of a false belief, and, in fact, with increasing amplification, you will attract continuous opportunities that trigger emotional pain until you finally pay attention and release the false belief that is responsible for the pain. All emotional healing is releasing disempowering beliefs.

Entangled in the conscious or unconscious belief that worth depends on getting our parents to meet our emotional needs, we grow into adults, still expecting one or both parents to give us what we need to feel worthy. But, this just sets us up for more pain because it never works.

Why don’t parents meet their children’s emotional needs?

First of all, even the most well-intentioned parents often fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, and, in most cases, emotional wounds have nothing to do with parental love. Oftentimes, childhood emotional wounds are by-products of parenting style or our parent’s unhealed wounds or family issues, such as financial challenges, divorce, or a family member’s addiction, disease, mental illness or chronic depression.

Although parental judgment, criticism, and comparison to siblings or other children are the most common causes of the worthiness wound, almost any dynamic can set the stage, for instance, when a parent is over-protective or over-controlling, a child may feel disrespected and develop the belief he is unworthy of respect, and he may conclude he is untrustworthy, or when a child is told to be seen but not heard, she may develop the belief she is not worthy to speak, or she may believe she is not important.

In most cases, a child’s emotional wounds deepen over time, and as the child matures into adulthood, the wound matures accordingly; manifesting as problematic relationships, financial concerns, career challenges, and health issues, while also making it difficult to pursue one’s dreams and desires.

Many adult children protect themselves from parental judgment and manipulation by closing their hearts and putting up energetic barriers, but despite the defensive quality of anger and blame, it doesn’t protect us from emotional pain because the shield actually keeps the pain inside while it also prevents healing. Regardless of age, every time your parents fail to meet your Primary Emotional Need, feelings of disappointment feed unworthiness and often lead to powerlessness.

The Unworthiness Wound Causes Powerlessness

Do you still need parental approval, acceptance, validation or permission to feel worthy? If so, do you conceal behaviors that don’t meet your parent’s expectations?

This dynamic is quite common in most adults but there is a huge cost involved because whenever you suppress authentic expression in exchange for approval or acceptance, for example, you inadvertently give away your power. In fact, it is impossible to expect your parents to meet your emotional needs and make you feel worthy without giving them your power.

Consequently, the relationship is based on dysfunctional dynamics where you remain a powerless child who is vulnerable to being hurt. Not only does this make you susceptible to parental judgment and criticism, it also makes you vulnerable to manipulation through guilt and obligation.

Although blame is a natural response to powerlessness, it actually tells your subconscious mind that the parent you are blaming has power over you, and, therefore, blame perpetuates more powerlessness. Indeed, you won’t be able to heal your emotional wounds or forgive your parents as long as you blame them for making you feel powerless and unworthy. This is why self-responsibility is the cure, and, in fact, self-responsibility is the only thing that can solve your issues.

Self-responsibility means that you must own your unconditional worth and you must take back your power by releasing the expectation that your parents meet any of your emotional needs, and this also includes releasing the need for apology, acknowledge, or retribution.

Give to yourself what you need from your parents!

As you take responsibility for your life and your choices, you must stop seeking parental permission and emotional support, and, in fact, you don’t even need your parents to believe in you or your dreams. The same reasons your parents didn’t meet your needs in childhood are the same reasons they still don’t. So you can let them off the hook and release all expectations!

Finally, when you know your unconditional worth, and you own your intrinsic power, your parents can’t hurt you emotionally, and, consequently, forgiveness becomes possible.

As dysfunctional dynamics dissolve, it gives way to a new paradigm of relationship based on unconditional worth and self-empowerment. The foundation of this deeper connection is clear boundaries, and, in fact, boundaries can take you from a powerless child to an empowered adult in a heartbeat. Indeed, your personal power is only as strong as your boundaries.

Boundaries are Key!

As an adult-child, it is up to you to set boundaries with your parents. Initially, it might feel uncomfortable, but, over time, strong boundaries will strengthen the relationship and allow for a deeper connection. So, to create a positive adult relationship with your parents, what boundaries do you need as an empowered adult?

Keep in mind, a boundary of respect, for example, is vague and you probably need to define the parameters of respect, so clearly and specifically spell it out in terms of communication and interaction. In all likelihood, you will need to teach your parents how to treat you, speak to you, and behave in ways that reflect respect. It’s also a good idea to invite your mom and dad to establish their boundaries and do your very best to honor them, as well.

Boundaries are set through intention but established with attention!

Effective boundaries require integrity, and this means that you must back-up every boundary with proper and consistent attention. Therefore, don’t expect your parents to automatically know when they are encroaching on a boundary. When people are used to behaving in habitual ways, it takes time to recognize new boundaries and reorganize new behavior accordingly. This means that it’s your responsibility to protect your boundaries, and, therefore, confidentially give clear feedback; tell your mom or dad when they are crossing (or about to cross) a boundary.

However, if either parent doesn’t respect your boundaries, don’t be afraid to limit interactions accordingly, but let them know why, so they have the necessary information to change their behavior. Believe it or not, most parents will eventually learn to respect boundaries, but only if you consistently enforce them first.

Reaping the Rewards

No matter how it seems, childhood wounds always leverage hidden gifts, such as independence, wisdom, or compassion, and without emotional challenges, our best attributes might never be revealed. If you haven’t yet recognized the positive qualities that sprung from your childhood wounds, now would be a wonderful time to do so because the recognition itself can be extremely healing. Indeed, the point is to heal the wounds but keep the benefits!

Finally, always remember that forgiveness is never for the person being forgiven. Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

Originally posted on Wake up World.

Do you want to ask the universe for something you want and you haven’t find a way that works for you yet?

The law of attraction is one of the most powerful laws of this Universe. It works on the principle that like attracts like. This means that you attract into your reality experiences, events and people that are aligned with your energy and vibration.

Everyone and every experience that comes into your life is a teacher in some way that is being drawn to you at your current state of consciousness.

If we believe this to be true, then we can also actively change our energy and our vibration in order to attract a different set of experiences or opportunities into our lives.

When we uplift our energy and our level of consciousness, our external environment mirrors the same and our energy starts to attract a new set of experiences.

Because we are co-creators of our destiny, we also have the power to create and manifest events in our lives as well. We can send our requests out into the Universe, almost like we are casting a wish and watching it return to us.

If you are looking to manifest or create an event in your life, whether it is attracting a new lover, money, a new job or simply a peaceful resolution to a situation, here is how to do it:

1. Develop a Relationship with the Universe

If you are new to the law of attraction and the inner workings of the Universe, it may be beneficial to start developing a relationship so you can see first hand how the Universe operates.

It is all very well for someone to tell you that “like attracts like” but until you start to see it in operation, it can be difficult to understand.

To start developing your relationship with the Universe, you have to first believe in its power and see the miracles it can create. Perhaps start on a small level first such as asking the Universe for a sign.

2. Set Your Intention

Just because you ask for something, doesn’t mean you are going to receive it exactly as you intended. This is especially true if what you are asking for comes from a place of ego or there is resistance and blocks surrounding what you are asking for.

Before you ask the Universe for what you want, you first have to get clear with your heart and really tune in to what your heart desires.

Once you have set your intention and have become clear on what you want, it makes it a lot easier to attract it into your life.

3. Visualize

With your intention in your heart, close your eyes and begin to visualize the receiving of your intention. Visualize what it may look like, what it feels like and any other details that are necessary.

Allow yourself to get taken away by the feelings you are experiencing. Really feel all the emotions that come with having your request answered. The more feelings you can conjure up, the more powerful your request will be.

Watch: Master Visualization

4. Thank You and Ask

Once you are sitting in that feeling place and your emotions about what you want are bubbling over, it is time to ask the Universe.

Start with “Thank You” as this allows you to ask with the intention that your request is already being received by the Universe.

Example: “Thank you Universe for giving/bringing/opening me to…..”

5. Release and Open

Once you have asked for your wish, you need to release and surrender all control to the Universe. You cannot micromanage the delivery or in’s and out’s of your wish. The “how” is up to the Universe, so surrender all attachments to your wish and remain open minded about how your wish will be delivered.

In fact, the more open minded you can stay, the easier it will be for you to recognize the Universe’s magic at work.

6. Trust in Divine Timing

Another law of the Universe that is important to understand here is Divine Timing. Whatever you have asked for will come your way when the perfect timing presents itself.

You have to trust that once you have sent your wish out into the Universe that it will be received back to you in perfect timing.

After casting your wish, keep trusting the process and holding the emotional feeling strong in your heart. After all, what you want is less about the object or the person and more about the feeling that it creates.

This article was originally created and published by Forever Conscious and re-posted here with permission.

By Tanaaz

You can find a variety of wish manifestation and law-of-attraction courses online.

In most cases, they teach you a certain set of manifestation techniques or, as some may call them, wish spells. They help you concentrate and direct your energy towards manifesting your desires.

However, there is a great need for certain rules or principles to be addressed and explained before you start practicing the law of attraction, or any other manifestation techniques. The following rules are quite simple and following them could help you get the results you want and bring your wishes into reality…

1. Being in the Now

One of the essential rules to follow when conducting any manifestation technique (here is an example of one very powerful technique called Glass of Water) or making a wish, is to be in the point of here and now. When you are able to stop your inner dialog and concentrate your thoughts on the present moment you gain a much better control of your energy flow. When you are being in the now you can direct your energy towards creating a hologram of your wish through creative visualization. In order for your wish to come true you need to see yourself in the reality where that wish had already came true. The “wish hologram” that you have created through your visualization and placed on the energy field will now be the guide for your mind and body to follow.

Watch: Master Visualization

2. Silence is Golden

There is a good reason why people say that silence is golden. There is no need to brag about your wish to others. By just talking about your wishes and desires you are wasting your energy on talking instead of doing something to make a wish happen. However, do keep in mind that discussing an action plan with others is totally different from gapping about your wish. When you talk about your wish without doing anything about it, you confuse the Universe. Would you prefer the Universe to just observe you talking about your wishes or actually give you energy towards achieving the goals that you have set?

3. Avoid the Middleman

When you are making your wish, concentrate on the wish itself and not on something that will help you bring that wish into reality. If you want a new car, a new house, a new job or a dream vacation then make it your wish. When you are wishing for money to make those things happen, you create a middleman. Divine does work in mysterious ways and there is really no way of telling how exactly the Universe will manifest your dreams. Just make sure that you avoid creating the middleman during your wish manifestation journey.

4. Ecology of Your Wish

It is very important for your wish to be in harmony with Nature. Wishing to harm someone or destroy something with time will have its negative consequences. Your intention is very important, so when you wish something bad to happen to another person, you are bringing it on yourself (or even your kin). You have probably heard about the law of karma. It is also important to realize that in today’s world of informational paradigm your wishes and your thoughts are just as important as your deeds. It is no longer enough to just do good things in order to attract good karma. Your thoughts and worldview have to be ecological as well in order for your wishes to come true.

5. Save Yourself

One saint once said: “Save yourself and thousands around you will be saved.” In other words, your wishes should be directed towards yourself. When your wish is directed towards somebody else and you wish them to do something or become someone they are not, you are just wasting your wish manifestation energy. If you truly want to help someone else, then become an example and stop forcing your own truth upon others. Even if eventually you succeed in making someone else do what you want, you just made that person a parasite who will feed on your truth.

Everyone has their freedom of choice and it is important for each one of us to apply it in life without interference with the freedom of others. In certain cases your kids until they turn 21 can be an exception. However, the most effective way is still being the example on how to live a happy life and sharing the knowledge of how you did it instead of wishing something for them or telling them what they should do.

In your mind and body, you possess the greatest and most sophisticated technology in all the world. When you know how to use it, precisely and accurately, you have the makings of a Super Power.

~ Nanice Ellis

6. Time is Energy

Some law of attraction experts will tell you that you should set a concrete deadline for your wish to manifest, others will argue that you should make your wish and release it into the energy field. You can just treat time as energy of a certain frequency. Understanding the concept of time is very important to wish manifestation. Intricate wishes may need a certain amount of time to come true while other simple wishes may become a reality in a matter of weeks, days or even hours.

7. Follow the Signs

Many people forget to follow the signs after they make a wish or conduct one of the manifestation techniques based on the law of attraction. You have to be consciously aware of what is happening in your life after you have expressed your wish to the Universe. It is very important to allow and be ready to receive abundance in your life. You need to see and follow the signs that Universe will produce on the road towards your wish manifestation.

8. Wish Elevator

Here is a big secret – there is no elevator to wish manifestation, you have to take the stairs! However, you can learn about ways and powerful techniques to help you effectively manage your wish manifestation energy and realize your full potential. There are people who win big by winning a lottery. However, after a certain period of time, almost all of them report that it was actually more of a curse than a blessing. In order to flawlessly manifest your wish, you have to be realistic. If you wish to achieve long lasting positive results you have to take it step by step.

9. Your True Self

Your mission or purpose in this life has to be taken into account when making a wish. Of course, we live in a quantum reality and everything is possible. However, not all the things will bring you closer to being happy. Your true self, Higher-self or your Spirit holds the information on what will make you happy. In order to experience the manifestation of your dreams in this life, they have to be within the limits of the mission your Higher-self has in store for you. When you are being true to yourself and genuinely passionate about your wish, it will manifest without resistance. You might still encounter certain challenges in your wish manifestation game but in the end, they will all turn into a joyful adventure.

Final Thoughts

Now that you know these 9 principles to wish manifestation, you can get much better results from practicing the law of attraction and other wish manifestation techniques. Please also keep in mind that Nature always pays in advance. Thus, when your wish is manifested, make sure to enjoy it as much as you can. The positive emotions that you receive from winning the wish manifestation game will serve as the energy foundation to reaching the next frequency in your journey of spiritual self-discovery.

This article was originally created and published by Conscious Reminder.

Photo credits: Can Stock Photo

Have you had the experience of dealing with the same problem again and again?

Because the Law of Attraction governs our lives, our thoughts and feelings are what create our reality, and this includes our problems! Sometimes we have a negative focus that has become so strong it causes us to attract the same problem repeatedly.

So, why might we have a negative focus like this? Below are three common habits that cause problems to repeat themselves through negative attention. If you find yourself experiencing the same problem again and again, check to see if any of these behaviors are at play:

1. Talking or complaining about the problem: 

For many of us, this is the strongest reason why we attract problems repeatedly. Most of us talk a lot, and we tend to tell the same story again and again. Complaining about a back problem, a bad relationship or a rude boss can become addictive, and this generates a lot of extra magnetism for these negative circumstances.

The good news is that it’s fairly easy to stop complaining. At first, biting one’s tongue might be a bit uncomfortable, but with a little bit of practice it is easy to limit the negative talk.

For more information on this concept, read this article: “Why Talking About Our Problems Is Our Greatest Addiction.”

2. Obsessively thinking about the problem: 

While most people in society believe that worrying is critical for our survival, nothing could be further from the truth. When we worry about our problems we generate more momentum for them, and we find ourselves further and further away from the solutions we need. 

Though many of us understand that negative thinking causes problems, changing our thoughts is still often easier said than done. Our thoughts move at a very quick pace and come without much effort, so “thought control” can be a bit tricky.

It is important to remember that even though you are able to change many of your intentional thoughts, you will have still have some unwanted unintentional thoughts here and there, and that’s ok.  A few negative thoughts won’t ruin your life, so please give yourself some leniency on this one, especially in the beginning.

With that being said, when we find ourselves completely obsessing about a problem, we can do some deliberate distraction, and this can have a very profound effect over the situation at hand.

The next time you find yourself worried or anxious about a problem, simply tell yourself something along the lines of “I can solve this problem later, but right now I am going to focus on something a bit more uplifting.” Then, find an activity to do that brings a a little more joy into your life.

You could watch a funny movie, call a good friend, or practice a hobby that makes you happy. You could also listen to uplifting music or do some light exercise. 

Distraction is a great habit to develop because it gets you pointed in the right direction vibrationally. If each time you find yourself obsessing, you take a step back and distract yourself into a higher vibration, you will generate a habit that helps you bounce back from negative thoughts quickly in all areas of your life. 

With practice, it will become your default behavior to distract yourself when your thoughts become too negative. When positive distraction becomes your automatic response to obsessive negative thinking, you will see a powerful change in the quality of your reality.

3. Acting out of fear: 

Our actions have the ability to affect our vibration and our beliefs. Not only are our actions a reflection of our vibration and how we feel inside, but they also have the power to change our vibration and how we feel inside.  

For example, perhaps you’ve heard that when you are feeling down you can simply practice smiling to improve your mood a bit. Even though the smile isn’t genuine, the simple act of smiling mirrors itself inside with an emotional boost.

This works because our our moods and our actions work together in tandem.  Altering our moods will change our behaviors, and altering our behaviors will also change our moods. Therefore, by changing our behaviors regarding a problem, we change the way we feel about the problem, and then the problem manifests differently in our reality.

For this reason, the actions we choose to engage in have a tremendous effect on the circumstances we are attracting. When we are struggling with the same issue repeatedly, we can usually find some behaviors that indicate fear of the problem. By reducing and eliminating these fearful behaviors, we can consciously alter our beliefs and vibration regarding the subject.

For example, if I have been struggling to stay healthy, it is possible that I am behaving as if I am afraid of getting sick. Perhaps I have been obsessively washing my hands, taking immunity vitamins and avoiding all of the sick people in my life. In turn, this negative, fearful focus (ironically) draws sickness closer to me.

Why is this? It’s because I am sending a message to the universe that is screaming “I am afraid I am going to get sick!”

Again, we get what we focus on, whether it’s something we want or not! When we take fear-based actions to avoid sickness, all the universe knows is that we are thinking about getting sick. So, though these actions are taken with the intention of reducing illness, in many cases they actually increase illness. 

It’s always a good rule of thumb to evaluate our choices in our actions, especially when things aren’t going our way. When we are attracting repeated unwanted events it’s wise to pause and ask ourselves if we are running toward what we want or running away from what we don’t want.

It doesn’t matter which direction we are running in. As long as we are running we are strongly focused and therefore in the mode of attraction.  

Now, this isn’t to say you shouldn’t wash your hands, wear a seatbelt or take your vitamins. If these actions make you feel better about the situation, by all means do what you have to do. Feeling protected is a higher vibrational place than feeling exposed and vulnerable is, so if taking a protective action helps you feel safe in the moment go for it.   

That being said, if you find you are making great efforts to avoid your fear, these obsessive actions are absolutely part of the problem. Like obsessive thoughts, obsessive actions are dangerous because they indicate a strong focus on the unwanted.

Always remember, the greatest protection you will ever have is vibrational alignment.  When you are projecting a very high vibration, you are 100% safe, and will only attract wanted events and circumstances. If you feel that you need protection on a regular basis, take some steps to raise your vibration and work to lessen your dependency on protective actions.

So when you find yourself trapped in Groundhog’s Day and the same problem is popping up repeatedly, take some steps to evaluate and adjust your approach. Avoid talking about the problem, distract yourself from obsessive thoughts and reduce the tendency to act out of fear.

This three-pronged approach will slow (and eventually stop!) the negative attention that is drawing the same problem in your life again and again.

As a final note, please remember it’s always best to crawl before you walk. Go easy on yourself if at first you struggle to stop talking about a persistent problem, or if your thoughts or actions are still worrisome and fearful. We aren’t aiming for perfection here, we’re simply trying to slow down the negative momentum.  

Every time you choose higher vibrational thoughts and actions you reduce negative attraction, so pat yourself on the back for your achievements and give yourself a pass when you slip up. Eliminating an established negative attraction requires some practice and, of course, some patience with oneself.

If you’ve had success in eliminating any negative cycles from your life, I’d love to hear your story. Comment below and share your thoughts.

Thanks for reading!

XO, Andrea

By Andrea Schulman – Guest writer from Raise your Vibration Today

About the author

My name is Andrea Schulman, I am a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of ‘Raise Your Vibration Today.’ I teach people about the Law of Attraction with fun, clarity and success! Check out my member website to learn how to create your reality with your thoughts.

This article is free and open source. You have permission to republish this article under a Creative Commons license with attribution to the author and Enlightened Consciousness. All hyperlinks within the article must remain intact.

Affirmations can be tricky, tricky things.

Affirmations are positive statements designed to focus our attention on having the things we want in life. Many students of the Law of Attraction use affirmations regularly to align with their goals and desires.

A well-constructed affirmation can tap you into the knowledge that all is well, and that you are capable of great things. A well-constructed affirmation can help you attract more and more of the good things you are hoping to manifest with the law of attraction.

A not-so-well-constructed affirmation can leave you feeling bored and uninspired, or even worse, irritated, sad or angry! A not-so-well-constructed affirmation will actually push away the things you want.

Therefore, it’s really important to construct your affirmations with care!

What makes a good affirmation?

There are a number of characteristics of a good affirmation. However, in my opinion, the most important characteristic of a good affirmation is that it feels true. Consider the following:

You are a young woman who just got dumped and who has a bad relationship with your family. You are feeling alone and uncared for. You want to attract in new relationships that make you feel connected and loved, so you decide to practice some affirmations.

You find a few affirmations, and decide to use this one daily: “I am loved.”

Do you imagine reciting the affirmation “I am loved,” over and over is going to feel particularly true to you in this situation?

Probably not. In fact, saying “I am loved” to yourself over and over again when you are clearly NOT feeling very loved is only going to amplify the feelings of being unloved, not loved.

Whenever we feel we don’t have something we want, telling ourselves we have it is a surefire way to establish greater feelings of insecurity.

When we assert something we don’t believe we have, it makes us feel like we are lying to ourselves. It’s not a good feeling. It’s like telling a sad person to smile and be positive when he or she is sobbing uncontrollably. It just doesn’t work, and it only makes the sad person feel worse.

Telling yourself you have something you don’t really believe you have is the wrong way to use affirmations. An affirmation must feel true in order to amplify positive feelings of belief.

If your affirmations don’t feel true, modify them.

So, what do you do? If you want to attract love, are you simply supposed to avoid all kinds of affirmations about love?

No! You can still use affirmations about love, just modify them to make them feel true!

Below are four affirmation modifiers you can use to make your affirmations ring true on a more consistent basis. Consider adding modifiers to adjust your affirmations and make them more effective.

1. “I’m looking forward to…”

When there’s something you want that you don’t have yet, one thing you can affirm is your excitement to get what you want.

Adding the modifier “I’m looking forward to…” to the beginning of your affirmation allows you to focus on what you want in a positive way. It enables you to practice the feeling of positive anticipation, which feels good.

The truth is, you are looking forward to this thing you want. For this reason, this affirmation should always ring true.

For example: “I am wealthy and successful” might not feel too true when you’re living paycheck to paycheck. Instead, change this affirmation to “I’m looking forward to wealth and success.”

2. “It feels really good when I…”

Sometimes, there are things we want again that we’ve had before. In times like this, this modifier is especially useful.

This affirmation modifier allows you to remember (and therefore practice) the feeling of having something you had before in the past.

Practicing the feeling of what you had is a great way to get into better alignment with the desire to have it again. This type of modifier asserts that you’ve done it before and it allows you to feel good about something you’ve accomplished in the past.

For example: “I attract positive people and circumstances” might not feel too true when you’re having a bad day and find yourself surrounded by negativity. In a situation like this, change this affirmation to “It feels really good when I attract positive people and circumstances.”

3. “I am often/frequently…”

Similar to the previous modifier, this affirmation modification asserts that you’ve done it before. This is another great modifier to use when there’s something you’ve had before that you want to experience again.

For example: “I am appreciated” might not feel to true when you’re feeling criticized or overlooked. Instead, try “I am often/frequently appreciated.”

4. “…in many ways.”

This is a great modifier to enhance something you already have some of, but you want more of.

The nice thing about this modifier is that amplifies the knowledge of all of the many ways you already have exactly what you’re asking for. This modifier encourages you to think about and dwell on the many reasons why you are already successful at getting what you want.

For example: “I am prosperous” might feel somewhat true to you because you have a home, a car and some money in the bank. To feel especially true, and to amplify the feeling of prosperity, add the modifier by saying “I am prosperous in many ways.”

Try them out!

I hope you find good use for these affirmation modifications. Use these four modifiers liberally, and play around with them to see which ones work well for the desires you are hoping to attract!

Remember, an effective affirmation makes you feel good because it’s a positive statement that feels very honest and true. Modifiers like these can help you amplify the authenticity of your affirmations.

Do you have any other affirmation modifications you use? Feel free to comment below and share them with me!

XO, Andrea

This article was originally posted at bodymindsoulspirit.com.

About the author
Andrea Schulman is a former high school psychology teacher and the creator of Raise Your Vibration Today, which provides free and easy Law of Attraction techniques. She is also available for group educational seminars and webinars.