The fast-paced world we live in has lead us to obtain certain unhealthy and toxic habits which affect our physical, as well as mental health. Somehow, our desire to achieve more has contributed to a reduced work productivity. Over time, we develop bad habits like smoking, unhealthy diet, and many other we were not even aware of. Why? Because we create an illusion that these habits keep us in balance.

Working mothers are in the worst position since they are required to juggle their personal and professional lives. The solution to this problem is rather simple – focusing on one task at a time. It is a common misconception that multitasking is vital for business success. Many are those who believe that the ability to single-task, i.e. work until a certain goal is achieved, is what leads to accomplishing long-lasting results. And what’s the key? One word – Flow.

The Theory of Flow

Flow represents the state of mind in which a person is fully focused on the task at hand; completely immersing themselves in it, losing track of time. When in the state of flow, you forget about everything; yourself, others, the entire world around you; at the same time, you are overwhelmed by the feeling of happiness; you become creative, motivated and highly productive. You no longer allow yourself to get easily interrupted by minor things but stay engaged with the challenging task you are working on.

How can you turn your entire (work) life around? According to Sonja Lyubomirsky, researcher at the University of California, “40% of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change.” So, what are some of the things we can actually do today, to avoid going back to our old habits tomorrow?

1. Start healthy

First off, don’t wake up with the regret of what you could have, or should have done yesterday; focus on what you can do today. To get the most of your day, start it with a positive attitude and a torrent of energy. Furthermore, substitute your first cup of coffee for the first glass of lemon water. It will help you rehydrate your body and flush your digestive system. You will balance your metabolism, and as a result, get a leaner figure. If you lead a hectic lifestyle, developing healthy habits may be difficult as you probably don’t have much time to prepare your own healthy food and work out. Fortunately, you can get protein drinks and other supplements to help with your nutrition and make baby steps when it comes to your fitness routine.  Also, don’t forget to drink a lot of fluids later during the day to avoid dehydration, dizziness and, ultimately, lowered productivity.

Dry brushing before showering is also advisable as a regular part of a morning routine, as it increases circulation, providing you with more energy. Starting with your feet and hands, the skin is commonly brushed towards the chest, that is – the heart.

2. Start strong

It is essential to organize your time around your body’s natural rhythm. When it comes to any kind of cognitive work, a greater number of adults proved to perform better in the morning. For this reason, more challenging tasks should be dealt with earlier in a day, as concentration and alertness tend to descend as time passes.

3. Define your goals

Setting personal goals provides you with a long-term vision, as well as a short-term motivation. They help you get a clearer vision of where you want to go in life and on what you should concentrate your efforts. Ensure you set a SMART goal; and by that, we mean Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time-bound. If they feel a bit abstract – write them down, plan the steps and cross off one after the other as you complete them.

4. Concentrate on self-comparison

The reason certain people struggle with insecurity is that they compare themselves to others, thus keeping themselves reserved and self-conscious. The biggest issue here is that we are never fully familiar with someone else’s story, and we are only presented with fragments of it. Only jealousy and resentment can come of it. Instead, focus on your journey; we all carry a unique footprint no one else possesses and we can utilize it to create something exceptional.

5. Limit the decision-making

By placing a time limit on decision-making, you will yield higher quality choices. By setting deadlines, you force yourself to spring into action. This technique proved to be extremely useful when conducting team meetings and brainstorming sessions. This way, everyone knows that there will be a vote at a specific time and it won’t lead to an endless and pointless debate.

It was Aristotle who said “We are what we repeatedly do; that excellence is not an act, but a force of habit,” so how long do you want to continue to live with the bad ones? Are they really beneficial? No. And today is a good day to quit your bad habits and focus only on what’s going to build your confidence from the ground up.

Many of us walk around beating ourselves up for the things that we did or didn’t do. We tell ourselves that we are not good enough and overtime this can affect our self-esteem and feelings of self worth. We all have this harsh inner critic inside of us and if we don’t become aware of it and change how it operates, it can be very difficult to find the motivation and confidence to go after our dreams and ambitions.

While everyone’s inner critic speaks a little differently, there are some words that you want to pay attention to. If you find yourself using these words frequently, it is time to reprogram your mind.

Here are the 4 words you need to stop using to silence your inner critic:

1. Sorry

Of course, there is nothing wrong with apologising when you have made a mistake or hurt someones feelings, but many times people use sorry to apologise because they feel like they have been an inconvenience.

Like -“sorry can you pass the salt” or “sorry for not getting back to you” or “sorry, would you mind doing me a favour”.

When you start using sorry to apologise for being an inconvenience that is when you need to step up and take notice- Are you using this word because you lack self esteem or don’t feel worthy enough?

Often people who overuse the word “sorry” need to build up their self-esteem and feel confident in taking up space in the world. Often these people need to work on feeling more grounded and secure in themselves and their surroundings.

If you find yourself saying “sorry” a lot, you may want to consider using the words, “Please” or “Thank You” instead. For example, “please pass the salt” or “thank you for waiting, I know I didn’t get back to you.”

These small tweaks can help to gradually reprogram your mind and change how you perceive yourself.

Over time, these changes will also help you to feel more confident and that you don’t have to apologise for everything that you do or say.

2. “Should”

Another word that you have to be mindful of using is “should”. For example, “I should have done this” or “I really should eat healthier”.

When you use “should” in this way it instantly creates a judgement on yourself and even others. For example, you may also find yourself saying- “She really shouldn’t have done that”. Even though that statement may feel true in the moment, placing expectations on people often leads to disappointment.

We don’t really have any control over what other people choose to do, and using language like “should” makes us defensive rather than solution orientated. Saying “should” can also put harsh expectations on yourself and can also affect your self esteem and confidence.

Instead of saying “should” simply state what you are going to do and mean it. For example, “I am going to do this” or “I am going to eat healthier”.

By removing should you remove the judgement and the expectation, which in turn allows you to take a focused step in the right direction.

3. Try

Try is another word that we have to be mindful of using. When you find yourself saying “I am going to try and do this” it often represents that you are not fully committed.

When you “try” to do something, it also indicates that there is a part of you that doesn’t believe you are capable of doing it. It may be on a subconscious level, but having this self-doubt can block you from achieving your goals.

If you really believe in something and if you really believe in yourself, there is no reason to use the word “try”. Instead, consider changing your statements to be more directed like, “I am going to do this” or “I am going to give it my best shot”.

By removing the word “try” it helps to enhance your self-esteem and boost your self confidence naturally. It also helps your energy and mindset to shift into a place of pure self-belief.

>>Watch: Improve Your Self-Esteem

4. Naughty/Bad

These words tend to crop up around food and lifestyle habits like “eating this cupcake is so naughty” or “it’s so bad I haven’t exercised in a week”.

Labelling yourself as being “bad” or “naughty” for doing or not doing something, instantly lowers your vibration and feelings of self esteem. This negative self-talk can actually do damage over time and make you feel self-conscious.

By labelling something as “bad” it also causes you to beat yourself up for it and even place blame or shame on yourself.

This is not a good mindset to have and can actually hinder you from going after your goals rather than motivating you. It is so important to be kind and loving to yourself and it is so important to watch how you speak to yourself. Eating a cupcake does not make you a bad person, so why beat yourself up for it?

Instead of using “bad’ or “naughty” to describe your actions, consider being gentle with yourself and perhaps even more aware of what you are doing in the moment.

If you know eating the cupcake is not the best choice but you feel like you want to do it anyway, own that and celebrate it, don’t beat yourself up for it.

If you are going to do it, you may as well enjoy it and think positively about the experience, rather than shaming yourself for it. Changing the way you use language and talk to yourself can have a profound effect on your energy and mindset.

By being more aware of these 4 words, and changing them into something more positive and self-loving, it will help to change your outlook and transform your life.

This article was originally created and published by Forever Conscious and re-posted here with permission.

By Tanaaz

On the surface, forgiving your parents (or anyone for that matter) may seem insignificant but forgiving your mother or father is actually the best thing you can do for the quality of your life. Even low-grade parental blame and resentment perpetuate a cycle of emotional pain and suffering that can negatively affect your adult relationships, finances, and overall wellbeing, ultimately preventing the love, abundance and happiness you desire and deserve.

If you have no comparison, you might not notice the amount of energy it takes to hold onto an emotional wound or even a small grudge, but holding onto anger, resentment or any form of hostility requires a tremendous amount of life force energy and this energy is non-refundable. Decades of anger and resentment can cut years off your life, and you wouldn’t even know it. Think of it like throwing hundred dollar bills into the toilet each day, except life force energy is infinitely more valuable than all the money in the world.

The Cycle of Suffering

Without healing our childhood wounds and subsequently forgiving our parents, we stay emotionally stuck at the age of our earliest wounds, and because this causes us to repeat the cycle of suffering, we keep experiencing an adult version of our childhood wounds.

For instance, let’s say you haven’t forgiven your mom for missing your tenth birthday or healed the resulting feelings of abandonment; whenever this issue is triggered by a current day experience (ex: someone forgets to call you), the original emotional wound is activated and you drop into an unconscious reaction. For all intents and purposes, you become your wounded ten-year-old self, and because you feel the same pain you felt then, you react by lashing out or shutting down.

Because an emotional reaction is an automatic response to an unhealed wound, there is little or no control over emotions or behavior, and this dynamic can result in a series of current day relationship issues. Year after year, the cumulative effect of emotional reactions can destroy the quality of our most important relationships.

Law of Attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, we unconsciously attract people who trigger our emotional wounds, and this is why a person with abandonment issues attracts potential partners who have commitment fears; not as punishment or karma but rather because our higher selves want us to heal and will use every opportunity to bring our wounds to the forefront. Unfortunately, this means that unhealed emotional wounds can prevent you from meeting your ideal partner or soul mate, and even if you do find each other, the turbulent nature of emotional wounds is known to sabotage even the most ideal partnership.

Blame Perpetuates Pain

Blaming your parents not only keeps the wound alive, it also tells your subconscious mind that your parents currently have power over you or your life, and, therefore, blame programs you for disempowerment. Like a virus, this dynamic can spread to every facet of your life. Additionally, whenever we blame another, we become entangled with their energy and stay entangled until we let go, and, consequently, we cannot grow beyond the parent we blame.

Of course, it’s no big surprise that forgiveness is the key to emotional freedom, but, in most cases, forgiveness is easier said than done. But why?

Why is forgiveness so difficult?

First, you must realize that blame, anger, and various related emotions are defensive guards that protect you from future harm. Since true forgiveness requires you to release this defense, the very act of forgiveness creates emotional risk. Therefore, to forgive your parents, you must trust they won’t hurt you again, but, the hard truth is, you can never be certain – there is no way to control or predict another person’s behavior, and sometimes loving people do hurtful things.

If you are still vulnerable to being hurt, forgiveness could destroy the only defense you have, and, if this is the case, your protective ego will not allow you to forgive. Therefore, before you can forgive, you must eliminate the risk of emotional harm, and this inevitably means self-responsibility.

Responsibility Before Forgiveness

There’s no way around it, as long as you blame or shift responsibility in any regard, you give others the power to hurt you, and as long as you give others the power to hurt you, you’re going to be hurt. Therefore, the only way to prevent emotional harm is by releasing blame and taking full responsibility for every emotion you experience, but there is no point assuming responsibility if you don’t also uncover the dynamics behind your childhood issues. Therefore, to make yourself immune to emotional harm, you must pinpoint the hidden cause of your childhood wounds, and once you do, I will show you how to heal it now.

Understanding the True Nature of Emotional Wounds

We often confuse an emotional wound with the event or experience that caused the wound, but the actual wound is not the situation or circumstance. An emotional wound is the disempowering belief we adopted in response to the experience. Without needing to analyze the details, the core emotional wound is virtually always unworthiness, and, in fact, unworthiness (or conditional worthiness) is the core wound of every other emotional wound.

All children have emotional needs that must be met to feel worthy of love and life; these needs include approval, acceptance, appreciation, understanding, validation, respect, etcetera. Although children require all emotional needs to be fulfilled, one emotional need almost always stands out from the rest, and because this is usually the need least met, it is the emotional need most associated with worth, and, as a result, it becomes the child’s Primary Emotional Need (PEN).

Children naturally adopt beliefs that explain why one or both parents fail to provide this emotional need, so when a child doesn’t receive approval, for example, the child naturally believes she is unworthy of approval, or more likely, she believes she must meet certain conditions to prove she is worthy. Hypersensitive to this need being met, she automatically interprets approval as proof of worthiness and judgment as proof of unworthiness, and this is why judgment can cause intense emotional pain even in adulthood.

Here’s the thing: like every human being, you were born unconditionally worthy, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prove, improve, or disprove worth. Therefore the emotional pain associated with believing you are unworthy is due to the fact it is completely untrue! Emotional pain is a warning system that alerts you to false beliefs.

Why do we need to be warned of false beliefs?

All disempowering beliefs, such as unworthiness, powerlessness, and victimhood, put us into survival mode, and over time can cause chronic and acute issues with serious repercussions, and, therefore, we need a warning system that alerts us to debilitating beliefs. This warning system is emotion, and, in fact, the purpose of emotional pain is to alert you to the fact you believe a falsehood. Just like physical pain alerts you the second you prick your finger with a knife, so you won’t cut your whole finger off, emotional pain alerts you to harmful beliefs so you can release them.

Without knowing that emotional pain is a sign of a false belief, most of us wrongly interpret this pain; so whenever we feel the emotional pain associated with unworthiness, the pain makes us believe the belief is true, thereby strengthening the belief and deepening the wound, and this perpetuates a cycle of emotional pain.

Furthermore, this internal warning system will stop at nothing to make you aware of a false belief, and, in fact, with increasing amplification, you will attract continuous opportunities that trigger emotional pain until you finally pay attention and release the false belief that is responsible for the pain. All emotional healing is releasing disempowering beliefs.

Entangled in the conscious or unconscious belief that worth depends on getting our parents to meet our emotional needs, we grow into adults, still expecting one or both parents to give us what we need to feel worthy. But, this just sets us up for more pain because it never works.

Why don’t parents meet their children’s emotional needs?

First of all, even the most well-intentioned parents often fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, and, in most cases, emotional wounds have nothing to do with parental love. Oftentimes, childhood emotional wounds are by-products of parenting style or our parent’s unhealed wounds or family issues, such as financial challenges, divorce, or a family member’s addiction, disease, mental illness or chronic depression.

Although parental judgment, criticism, and comparison to siblings or other children are the most common causes of the worthiness wound, almost any dynamic can set the stage, for instance, when a parent is over-protective or over-controlling, a child may feel disrespected and develop the belief he is unworthy of respect, and he may conclude he is untrustworthy, or when a child is told to be seen but not heard, she may develop the belief she is not worthy to speak, or she may believe she is not important.

In most cases, a child’s emotional wounds deepen over time, and as the child matures into adulthood, the wound matures accordingly; manifesting as problematic relationships, financial concerns, career challenges, and health issues, while also making it difficult to pursue one’s dreams and desires.

Many adult children protect themselves from parental judgment and manipulation by closing their hearts and putting up energetic barriers, but despite the defensive quality of anger and blame, it doesn’t protect us from emotional pain because the shield actually keeps the pain inside while it also prevents healing. Regardless of age, every time your parents fail to meet your Primary Emotional Need, feelings of disappointment feed unworthiness and often lead to powerlessness.

The Unworthiness Wound Causes Powerlessness

Do you still need parental approval, acceptance, validation or permission to feel worthy? If so, do you conceal behaviors that don’t meet your parent’s expectations?

This dynamic is quite common in most adults but there is a huge cost involved because whenever you suppress authentic expression in exchange for approval or acceptance, for example, you inadvertently give away your power. In fact, it is impossible to expect your parents to meet your emotional needs and make you feel worthy without giving them your power.

Consequently, the relationship is based on dysfunctional dynamics where you remain a powerless child who is vulnerable to being hurt. Not only does this make you susceptible to parental judgment and criticism, it also makes you vulnerable to manipulation through guilt and obligation.

Although blame is a natural response to powerlessness, it actually tells your subconscious mind that the parent you are blaming has power over you, and, therefore, blame perpetuates more powerlessness. Indeed, you won’t be able to heal your emotional wounds or forgive your parents as long as you blame them for making you feel powerless and unworthy. This is why self-responsibility is the cure, and, in fact, self-responsibility is the only thing that can solve your issues.

Self-responsibility means that you must own your unconditional worth and you must take back your power by releasing the expectation that your parents meet any of your emotional needs, and this also includes releasing the need for apology, acknowledge, or retribution.

Give to yourself what you need from your parents!

As you take responsibility for your life and your choices, you must stop seeking parental permission and emotional support, and, in fact, you don’t even need your parents to believe in you or your dreams. The same reasons your parents didn’t meet your needs in childhood are the same reasons they still don’t. So you can let them off the hook and release all expectations!

Finally, when you know your unconditional worth, and you own your intrinsic power, your parents can’t hurt you emotionally, and, consequently, forgiveness becomes possible.

As dysfunctional dynamics dissolve, it gives way to a new paradigm of relationship based on unconditional worth and self-empowerment. The foundation of this deeper connection is clear boundaries, and, in fact, boundaries can take you from a powerless child to an empowered adult in a heartbeat. Indeed, your personal power is only as strong as your boundaries.

Boundaries are Key!

As an adult-child, it is up to you to set boundaries with your parents. Initially, it might feel uncomfortable, but, over time, strong boundaries will strengthen the relationship and allow for a deeper connection. So, to create a positive adult relationship with your parents, what boundaries do you need as an empowered adult?

Keep in mind, a boundary of respect, for example, is vague and you probably need to define the parameters of respect, so clearly and specifically spell it out in terms of communication and interaction. In all likelihood, you will need to teach your parents how to treat you, speak to you, and behave in ways that reflect respect. It’s also a good idea to invite your mom and dad to establish their boundaries and do your very best to honor them, as well.

Boundaries are set through intention but established with attention!

Effective boundaries require integrity, and this means that you must back-up every boundary with proper and consistent attention. Therefore, don’t expect your parents to automatically know when they are encroaching on a boundary. When people are used to behaving in habitual ways, it takes time to recognize new boundaries and reorganize new behavior accordingly. This means that it’s your responsibility to protect your boundaries, and, therefore, confidentially give clear feedback; tell your mom or dad when they are crossing (or about to cross) a boundary.

However, if either parent doesn’t respect your boundaries, don’t be afraid to limit interactions accordingly, but let them know why, so they have the necessary information to change their behavior. Believe it or not, most parents will eventually learn to respect boundaries, but only if you consistently enforce them first.

Reaping the Rewards

No matter how it seems, childhood wounds always leverage hidden gifts, such as independence, wisdom, or compassion, and without emotional challenges, our best attributes might never be revealed. If you haven’t yet recognized the positive qualities that sprung from your childhood wounds, now would be a wonderful time to do so because the recognition itself can be extremely healing. Indeed, the point is to heal the wounds but keep the benefits!

Finally, always remember that forgiveness is never for the person being forgiven. Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

Originally posted at Wake up World.

Negative emotions often grow within the mind and soul, poisoning your daily life.

Who has not said or done things in emotionally intense moments that has later regretted?

Emotions play a huge role in our lives because often our actions and behavior are subject to the orders of our emotional center and not our logic. But, when one reacts emotionally continuously without any filter of logic, when one reacts automatically based on his emotions or acts based on false messages that his emotions give him, this man suffers and complicates life unnecessarily,

Negative emotions, such as anger, jealousy, bitterness, frustration, despair, are often become uncontrollably and grow within the mind and soul of man, poisoning his daily life.

Is there a way one to be able to feel the full range of emotions but not carried by them, and without reacting with an excessive way that turns back to him like a boomerang?

Here are some ways to control your negative emotions and not let them controlling your life:

1. Wait before you react

Recognize your negative emotion (I now feel an intense wave of anger) and what caused it (because my child didn’t hear me and did another damage in the house). Take a few deep breaths saying to yourself “I have the control” to not spell out something that you will later regret. Once you feel that the wave of your intense negative emotion started to subside, think about how you want to respond or react.

2. Find an alternative positive reaction to control your negative emotions

Controlling your emotions doesn’t mean you stifle them. It is important to be able of expressing how you feel, but without losing control of yourself or the situation. Discover which way is best suited to calm down and regain your peace of mind: Do you like to talk to someone and analyze situations and emotions? Prefer to keep a calendar of events and emotions? Are you relieved by doing gym or choosing an intense activity like kickboxing or any martial art? Or do you prefer relaxation exercises like yoga or meditation? By finding which one suits you, in essence, you are creating a passage for discharging from negative emotions.

3. Replace your negative thoughts

Negative thoughts, pessimistic attitude, and generally, negative perspectives of people and situations lead to the generation of negative emotions. When you feel a negative emotion, try to find out what negative thought lies behind it. Then, try to replace this negative thought with a positive one or at least a more realistic thought. One way to stop the flow of negative thoughts is to think of a good image or a good memory and stay for a while on this.

Related: How the Words Change Your Brain

4. Look at things from another perspective

Instead of “stick” to a particular negative interpretation of what and why it happened, try to see the situation from another perspective. What are the alternative explanations? How someone you love or respect would see the same situation? What is the “message” of this situation, what it wants to teach you and how you can learn something new through this experience? Applying this technique will be able to settle the intensity of negative emotions and take advantage of the situation as an experience that teaches you something.

5. Forgive people or situations that triggered your negative emotion

The reason you became angry, jealous, get disappointed or any other negative emotion you felt could be your parents, your spouse, your child, a friendly or family member… or even can be your own self that gets you angry with his reactions! Forgive the person or the situation that cause your negative emotions. This way you get your emotional distance from the other person and you don’t allow them to regulate your own life. Finally, whatever someone did, the way you react to it, is your sole choice and responsibility. With forgiveness, you essentially allow yourself not to attach to the negative emotion and continue your life positively!

The article was originally created and published by boro.gr, and translated by Visual Meditation.

Read more articles related to emotions from Visual Meditation, by clicking HERE.

About the author

Liza Varvogli, MA, Ph.D., is a bilingual Harvard-trained psychologist, award-winning picture book author in her native Greece, and parenting seminar leader as well as parenting books author. After completing her internship and post-doctoral training at Boston’s Children’s Hospital, Harvard Medical School’s teaching hospital, she returned to Greece where she opened a busy private practice and became an adjunct professor at the Medical School of Athens University, where she taught at the graduate program “Stress Management and Health Promotion”. Check her website varvogli.com and her blog greekpsychologypages.blogspot.gr.

Comparing yourself to others all the time is a mark of low self-esteem.

“Theirs is bigger, louder and prettier than mine, and I want what they have.”

This statement is so common that it’s scary. We may not be vocal when we feel this way, but we sure do think about it till we can’t sleep at night. We think about what others have every single day, and we covet those things. It’s called comparison, and it’s a poison waiting to take you out.

But it’s time to stop this unhealthy habit.

Analyzing Comparisons

So, we compare things. We compare jobs, relationships, and looks, and we do this because we always feel short ended. If only we could improve our this and that, we would be okay, perfected and ready to move on to bigger things. But that’s just it, after improving one thing, we find another, and this leads to an endless struggle of comparisons.

And not only does this waste precious time, but comparing yourself to others is ludicrous. For one, most people make a simple mistake that leads to low self-esteem, while striving to have something that a friend or loved one has, even a stranger. This mistake is comparing your own weaknesses to the strengths of others, which is already an unequal situation.

So just stop!

Yes, this is a bad thing. To compare yourself to others is to constantly be in turmoil and self-depreciation. But you can stop this cycle, once you’ve gotten to the place where you believe it to be detrimental. There are many ways to see this unhealthy habit for what it is and stop it in its tracks.

1. Change your focus

Instead of focusing on comparisons between yourself and others, try comparing you with you. Yes, I know it sounds strange, but it’s healthy. What I mean is comparing what you’ve done with what you are doing or will do in the future. What have you accomplished? What are your goals?

Focusing on a comparison such as this diverts attention from others and their business, which you shouldn’t be concerned with in the first place. This process also promotes growth and deep fulfillment.

2. Recognize the Source

As with most anything else in life, the source must be pinpointed for the problem to be eliminated. Ask yourself a few questions: Why are you so concerned with being like others? What do they have that you do not? As you face these truths about yourself, you will be analyzing your self-esteem, which is the root of the problem.

If your self-esteem is low, then others will seem more accomplished, more beautiful and much more kind than you. This is not true, and in order to come to this realization, you must know why you doubt. It could be past trauma or a failed relationship. Let’s face it, it could be several things.

“To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

– Thich Nhat Hanh

3. Practice being thankful

One of the reasons we compare ourselves to others is because we want what we do not have. But keep in mind, those others also lack things that you may have. The best practice is the practice of being grateful for what you have, and not be coveting toward others. This feeling fuels comparison and usually leaves you feeling empty most of the time.

4. Always be kind

Comparisons come from the way we feel about ourselves -namely when we have a negative self-image. How we feel about ourselves, in turn, comes from how we treat others. Do you see the cycle here? Treating others with kindness will greatly improve our self-image and this reduces our need to compare.

5. Put things into perspective

Sometimes you might not realize why you feel competitive with others. Suddenly, you notice how you are always comparing one thing to another with numerous people. One way to put these things into perspective is to write down your thoughts.

Keeping a journal of your thoughts will help you sort through both your negative and positive feelings. Not only will this reveal the truth about your insecurities, but it will also serve as therapy for your comparison addiction. Writing things down always helps you gain clarity on most any issue.

6. Take control of your life

One sure way to stop comparing yourself to others is to take control of your life’s decisions. Don’t just sit around and wish you had something that someone else has. You must do something about it. To achieve similar goals in your life, you must put forward similar efforts as those who are successful. Wishing and hoping for what someone else has will only make you bitter in the long run.

“Try not to get lost in comparing yourself to others. Discover your gifts and let them shine!”

– Jennie Finch

Yes! Take back control!

So just stop doing that. There’s no point in comparing yourself to others. It makes you forget the real reason why you do what you do. Comparisons get your sidetracked, angry and self-esteem drops as well, so this unhealthy habit must go!

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everybody will respect you.”
– Lao Tzu

I hope these words have inspired you to appreciate yourself and have a healthy appreciation for others as well. Keep striving toward your goals and dreams, and whenever you feel like comparing yourself to others, just remember that everyone has their imperfections.

Somewhere, someone, may be comparing themselves to you as well. Just a thought…

References:

Photo credits: Can Stock Photo

This article was originally created and published by Visual Meditation. It may be re-posted freely with proper attribution (active link to this article) and author bio.