On the surface, forgiving your parents (or anyone for that matter) may seem insignificant but forgiving your mother or father is actually the best thing you can do for the quality of your life. Even low-grade parental blame and resentment perpetuate a cycle of emotional pain and suffering that can negatively affect your adult relationships, finances, and overall wellbeing, ultimately preventing the love, abundance and happiness you desire and deserve.

If you have no comparison, you might not notice the amount of energy it takes to hold onto an emotional wound or even a small grudge, but holding onto anger, resentment or any form of hostility requires a tremendous amount of life force energy and this energy is non-refundable. Decades of anger and resentment can cut years off your life, and you wouldn’t even know it. Think of it like throwing hundred dollar bills into the toilet each day, except life force energy is infinitely more valuable than all the money in the world.

The Cycle of Suffering

Without healing our childhood wounds and subsequently forgiving our parents, we stay emotionally stuck at the age of our earliest wounds, and because this causes us to repeat the cycle of suffering, we keep experiencing an adult version of our childhood wounds.

For instance, let’s say you haven’t forgiven your mom for missing your tenth birthday or healed the resulting feelings of abandonment; whenever this issue is triggered by a current day experience (ex: someone forgets to call you), the original emotional wound is activated and you drop into an unconscious reaction. For all intents and purposes, you become your wounded ten-year-old self, and because you feel the same pain you felt then, you react by lashing out or shutting down.

Because an emotional reaction is an automatic response to an unhealed wound, there is little or no control over emotions or behavior, and this dynamic can result in a series of current day relationship issues. Year after year, the cumulative effect of emotional reactions can destroy the quality of our most important relationships.

Law of Attraction

According to the Law of Attraction, we unconsciously attract people who trigger our emotional wounds, and this is why a person with abandonment issues attracts potential partners who have commitment fears; not as punishment or karma but rather because our higher selves want us to heal and will use every opportunity to bring our wounds to the forefront. Unfortunately, this means that unhealed emotional wounds can prevent you from meeting your ideal partner or soul mate, and even if you do find each other, the turbulent nature of emotional wounds is known to sabotage even the most ideal partnership.

Blame Perpetuates Pain

Blaming your parents not only keeps the wound alive, it also tells your subconscious mind that your parents currently have power over you or your life, and, therefore, blame programs you for disempowerment. Like a virus, this dynamic can spread to every facet of your life. Additionally, whenever we blame another, we become entangled with their energy and stay entangled until we let go, and, consequently, we cannot grow beyond the parent we blame.

Of course, it’s no big surprise that forgiveness is the key to emotional freedom, but, in most cases, forgiveness is easier said than done. But why?

Why is forgiveness so difficult?

First, you must realize that blame, anger, and various related emotions are defensive guards that protect you from future harm. Since true forgiveness requires you to release this defense, the very act of forgiveness creates emotional risk. Therefore, to forgive your parents, you must trust they won’t hurt you again, but, the hard truth is, you can never be certain – there is no way to control or predict another person’s behavior, and sometimes loving people do hurtful things.

If you are still vulnerable to being hurt, forgiveness could destroy the only defense you have, and, if this is the case, your protective ego will not allow you to forgive. Therefore, before you can forgive, you must eliminate the risk of emotional harm, and this inevitably means self-responsibility.

Responsibility Before Forgiveness

There’s no way around it, as long as you blame or shift responsibility in any regard, you give others the power to hurt you, and as long as you give others the power to hurt you, you’re going to be hurt. Therefore, the only way to prevent emotional harm is by releasing blame and taking full responsibility for every emotion you experience, but there is no point assuming responsibility if you don’t also uncover the dynamics behind your childhood issues. Therefore, to make yourself immune to emotional harm, you must pinpoint the hidden cause of your childhood wounds, and once you do, I will show you how to heal it now.

Understanding the True Nature of Emotional Wounds

We often confuse an emotional wound with the event or experience that caused the wound, but the actual wound is not the situation or circumstance. An emotional wound is the disempowering belief we adopted in response to the experience. Without needing to analyze the details, the core emotional wound is virtually always unworthiness, and, in fact, unworthiness (or conditional worthiness) is the core wound of every other emotional wound.

All children have emotional needs that must be met to feel worthy of love and life; these needs include approval, acceptance, appreciation, understanding, validation, respect, etcetera. Although children require all emotional needs to be fulfilled, one emotional need almost always stands out from the rest, and because this is usually the need least met, it is the emotional need most associated with worth, and, as a result, it becomes the child’s Primary Emotional Need (PEN).

Children naturally adopt beliefs that explain why one or both parents fail to provide this emotional need, so when a child doesn’t receive approval, for example, the child naturally believes she is unworthy of approval, or more likely, she believes she must meet certain conditions to prove she is worthy. Hypersensitive to this need being met, she automatically interprets approval as proof of worthiness and judgment as proof of unworthiness, and this is why judgment can cause intense emotional pain even in adulthood.

Here’s the thing: like every human being, you were born unconditionally worthy, and there is absolutely nothing you can do to prove, improve, or disprove worth. Therefore the emotional pain associated with believing you are unworthy is due to the fact it is completely untrue! Emotional pain is a warning system that alerts you to false beliefs.

Why do we need to be warned of false beliefs?

All disempowering beliefs, such as unworthiness, powerlessness, and victimhood, put us into survival mode, and over time can cause chronic and acute issues with serious repercussions, and, therefore, we need a warning system that alerts us to debilitating beliefs. This warning system is emotion, and, in fact, the purpose of emotional pain is to alert you to the fact you believe a falsehood. Just like physical pain alerts you the second you prick your finger with a knife, so you won’t cut your whole finger off, emotional pain alerts you to harmful beliefs so you can release them.

Without knowing that emotional pain is a sign of a false belief, most of us wrongly interpret this pain; so whenever we feel the emotional pain associated with unworthiness, the pain makes us believe the belief is true, thereby strengthening the belief and deepening the wound, and this perpetuates a cycle of emotional pain.

Furthermore, this internal warning system will stop at nothing to make you aware of a false belief, and, in fact, with increasing amplification, you will attract continuous opportunities that trigger emotional pain until you finally pay attention and release the false belief that is responsible for the pain. All emotional healing is releasing disempowering beliefs.

Entangled in the conscious or unconscious belief that worth depends on getting our parents to meet our emotional needs, we grow into adults, still expecting one or both parents to give us what we need to feel worthy. But, this just sets us up for more pain because it never works.

Why don’t parents meet their children’s emotional needs?

First of all, even the most well-intentioned parents often fail to meet their children’s emotional needs, and, in most cases, emotional wounds have nothing to do with parental love. Oftentimes, childhood emotional wounds are by-products of parenting style or our parent’s unhealed wounds or family issues, such as financial challenges, divorce, or a family member’s addiction, disease, mental illness or chronic depression.

Although parental judgment, criticism, and comparison to siblings or other children are the most common causes of the worthiness wound, almost any dynamic can set the stage, for instance, when a parent is over-protective or over-controlling, a child may feel disrespected and develop the belief he is unworthy of respect, and he may conclude he is untrustworthy, or when a child is told to be seen but not heard, she may develop the belief she is not worthy to speak, or she may believe she is not important.

In most cases, a child’s emotional wounds deepen over time, and as the child matures into adulthood, the wound matures accordingly; manifesting as problematic relationships, financial concerns, career challenges, and health issues, while also making it difficult to pursue one’s dreams and desires.

Many adult children protect themselves from parental judgment and manipulation by closing their hearts and putting up energetic barriers, but despite the defensive quality of anger and blame, it doesn’t protect us from emotional pain because the shield actually keeps the pain inside while it also prevents healing. Regardless of age, every time your parents fail to meet your Primary Emotional Need, feelings of disappointment feed unworthiness and often lead to powerlessness.

The Unworthiness Wound Causes Powerlessness

Do you still need parental approval, acceptance, validation or permission to feel worthy? If so, do you conceal behaviors that don’t meet your parent’s expectations?

This dynamic is quite common in most adults but there is a huge cost involved because whenever you suppress authentic expression in exchange for approval or acceptance, for example, you inadvertently give away your power. In fact, it is impossible to expect your parents to meet your emotional needs and make you feel worthy without giving them your power.

Consequently, the relationship is based on dysfunctional dynamics where you remain a powerless child who is vulnerable to being hurt. Not only does this make you susceptible to parental judgment and criticism, it also makes you vulnerable to manipulation through guilt and obligation.

Although blame is a natural response to powerlessness, it actually tells your subconscious mind that the parent you are blaming has power over you, and, therefore, blame perpetuates more powerlessness. Indeed, you won’t be able to heal your emotional wounds or forgive your parents as long as you blame them for making you feel powerless and unworthy. This is why self-responsibility is the cure, and, in fact, self-responsibility is the only thing that can solve your issues.

Self-responsibility means that you must own your unconditional worth and you must take back your power by releasing the expectation that your parents meet any of your emotional needs, and this also includes releasing the need for apology, acknowledge, or retribution.

Give to yourself what you need from your parents!

As you take responsibility for your life and your choices, you must stop seeking parental permission and emotional support, and, in fact, you don’t even need your parents to believe in you or your dreams. The same reasons your parents didn’t meet your needs in childhood are the same reasons they still don’t. So you can let them off the hook and release all expectations!

Finally, when you know your unconditional worth, and you own your intrinsic power, your parents can’t hurt you emotionally, and, consequently, forgiveness becomes possible.

As dysfunctional dynamics dissolve, it gives way to a new paradigm of relationship based on unconditional worth and self-empowerment. The foundation of this deeper connection is clear boundaries, and, in fact, boundaries can take you from a powerless child to an empowered adult in a heartbeat. Indeed, your personal power is only as strong as your boundaries.

Boundaries are Key!

As an adult-child, it is up to you to set boundaries with your parents. Initially, it might feel uncomfortable, but, over time, strong boundaries will strengthen the relationship and allow for a deeper connection. So, to create a positive adult relationship with your parents, what boundaries do you need as an empowered adult?

Keep in mind, a boundary of respect, for example, is vague and you probably need to define the parameters of respect, so clearly and specifically spell it out in terms of communication and interaction. In all likelihood, you will need to teach your parents how to treat you, speak to you, and behave in ways that reflect respect. It’s also a good idea to invite your mom and dad to establish their boundaries and do your very best to honor them, as well.

Boundaries are set through intention but established with attention!

Effective boundaries require integrity, and this means that you must back-up every boundary with proper and consistent attention. Therefore, don’t expect your parents to automatically know when they are encroaching on a boundary. When people are used to behaving in habitual ways, it takes time to recognize new boundaries and reorganize new behavior accordingly. This means that it’s your responsibility to protect your boundaries, and, therefore, confidentially give clear feedback; tell your mom or dad when they are crossing (or about to cross) a boundary.

However, if either parent doesn’t respect your boundaries, don’t be afraid to limit interactions accordingly, but let them know why, so they have the necessary information to change their behavior. Believe it or not, most parents will eventually learn to respect boundaries, but only if you consistently enforce them first.

Reaping the Rewards

No matter how it seems, childhood wounds always leverage hidden gifts, such as independence, wisdom, or compassion, and without emotional challenges, our best attributes might never be revealed. If you haven’t yet recognized the positive qualities that sprung from your childhood wounds, now would be a wonderful time to do so because the recognition itself can be extremely healing. Indeed, the point is to heal the wounds but keep the benefits!

Finally, always remember that forgiveness is never for the person being forgiven. Forgiveness is the gift you give yourself.

Originally posted at Wake up World.

There is a very intimate connection between cannabis and mysticism which dates back to the earliest times of human civilization.

History is filled with insurmountable evidence showing that cannabis was used a variety of spiritual and ritualistic practices. Cannabis enjoyed a respected status in various cultures as a gateway to experiencing the heights of spiritual transcendence.

The use of cannabis for spiritual elevation and worship permeates various aspects of history with cannabis being used as a means of gaining higher spiritual connections which create more electrifying mystical encounters.

Cannabis and Mysticism Across Various Civilizations

The use of cannabis for mysticism is prevalent in history and cut across various geographical locations, traditions, and civilizations with different heights of involvement and applications. There are many accounts of the use of cannabis as a channel to gain entry into the non-physical dimension. There have also been many indications and testimonies on that reinforce the relevance of cannabis in enabling the mind to gather awareness of mystical and nonphysical developments.

Additionally, there has been a widespread integration of cannabis in different types of sacred practices globally. What is referred to as “microdosing” in contemporary times often provides a fantastic way to prepare the mind for a brilliant spiritual encounter. Just a little amount of cannabis would stimulate the mind while enabling a greater awareness of spiritual realities.

Cannabis has an irrefutable reputation for facilitating entry into some of the most unreachable and far-flung areas of the subconscious. Cannabis enables the mind to reach lost memories, thoughts, and imaginations that effectively triggers a supernatural encounter. Without a doubt, cannabis is capable of strengthening the operations of the mind in ways that produce elevated mental processes and mystical encounters. Cannabis would enable profound cerebral operations, deeper and more gratifying introspections and soul searching while catapulting you to the threshold of ideological and divine enlightenment.

Marijuana plant has many constituents that provide spiritual elevation and insight. There have been many reports from users about increased spiritual awareness and amplified reasoning about dimensions that were once completely nonexistent to consciousness.

Cannabis as a Booster to Spirituality

Unarguably, cannabis provides the deepest form of clarity and ones with different dimension while enabling profound meditation that brings about tremendous revelations and awareness.

Cannabis strengthens consciousness and provides the body with the required amount of vigor for a worthwhile meditation. Cannabis offers great support for yoga practice and Yoga dates back thousands of years to the Shiva cults and was a highly beneficial ritualistic process. Cannabis provides the required vigor for the body while stimulating the mind for a profoundly gratifying assessment of self and various realities while creating a very fulfilling spiritual encounter.

Cannabis is particularly relevant in the area of introspection, facilitating an intense session of cerebral exploration that produces unmistakable clarity and insight that gives a deeper understanding of the spiritual.

Photo credits: Youtube

About the author:

Nick Hackman studied Sociology and is a journalist based in Brussels. He has a strong interest in Social Science and the Medical Cannabis Industry.

In this modern society, we are all programmed with fixed mental patterns, from birth onwards.

Your nationality, your race, your religion, your environment, your expectations, your family’s economic status. All of these of things are mental patterns, programmed (recorded) into your subconscious mind as you are growing up.

Now these things are here for a reason. Back in the cave man days, these subconscious programs were relied upon to keep you alive. To allow you to gain an unshakeable understanding of, not only the environment you were living in but also the societal structure and any social norms which you had to adhere to, lest you be cast out from the social group!

They may have served a purpose back then but these days they are simply keeping you trapped in the same circumstances while the world moves forward without you!

Analyze how your mind works

Everyone’s mental patterns will, of course, be unique to them as an individual. Therefore, if you ever hope to break free and start creating the life you’ve always wanted, you MUST analyze your own mind and take stock of who you THINK you are versus who you REALLY are and who you WANT to become. Once you’ve done this, you can begin using the reality of these subconscious programs to your benefit.

Begin by looking at the following areas of your life and ask yourself “Is this what I want or Is this what my SUBCONSCIOUS wants?”:

  • Your Relationship(s)
  • Your Friends
  • Your Job/Career
  • Your Mental State
  • Your Feeling Of Deservingness
  • Your Idea Of Whether You Can Succeed In Life

Take a good, hard look at yourself and meditate on the above points, trying to find the root of where they came from and how they got there. Obviously, this will take some time and a lot of self-introspection, which can be uncomfortable for some people. Sometimes facing yourself is the most terrifying thing you can do, because once you know these mental patterns can be changed, you will be forced to take full responsibility for your life’s circumstances. The good and the bad. Everything is the way it is, because of you and what you have manifested or not manifested into your life.

So, take stock of yourself and your thoughts one by one. Begin to build a conscious idea of who your subconscious mind believes you are. Make a list if it helps. It is often quite startling at how different the subconscious mind’s idea of its self-image really is. You may be capable of having a good job, yet it believes you are poor so it manifests either no job, a bad interview or gets you fired soon after you have found one.

The good news is that once you have begun to notice these little mental patterns (programs) and how and why they are created, you will notice (and overcome) more and more of them every day. You have trained your mind to see the lies within it and you will have given your mind the tools to change it.

So don’t be a victim to your thoughts. Don’t be a victim of circumstances. Don’t be a victim of the beliefs of other people! Change your life today!

Our mind and body are resilient and have the innate healing power.

You might not be who you think you are. Your very perception or idea of who you are has been weaved into your mind over time.

Surviving an accident was the easy part; coping with the chronic pain would prove more difficult. Danna Pycher shares her story about trauma and the transformative insight she gained that allowed her to harness the healing power of the subconscious mind.

We, all of us, are born as blank slates. Through our experiences, we are programmed to have certain beliefs about who we are, what we can achieve in life and what type of person we should be. From birth until six we’re essentially living life in a hypnotic trance. It’s why we learn languages so quickly at this young age. We are sponges just joyously absorbing everything around us.

At this precious age, we set up the rest of our lives. What we learned from the age of zero until six is essentially the patterns or programming we begin to develop from adolescence or from then and repeat again and again from adolescent into adulthood.

We are patterns. Sometimes our patterns do not serve us. Those patterns are called disease, depression, obesity, and the list unfortunately goes on and on. The mind and body, the disease and thought are all interconnected.

When events happen in life they’re recorded. When a stressful event happens it is recorded as is. And that creates a certain level of shock on the mind, which therefore sends the stress signals down the nervous system, which in turn will tell the endocrine system to increase adrenaline and cortisol, and while those levels are increased, our immune levels are lowered.

The fact that we have these stress responses initially is not a bad thing. And the fact that our minds compound all of these situations over time without ever letting them go, every situation builds upon each other.

So the real reason we experience stress in reality as for our own good, for our own safety. So, the initial stress isn’t bad, the continual attachment to this stress is bad.

When we experience stress, there’s a recording in the subconscious mind and enough of this recording over time will cause havoc and an overstressed nervous system, which in turn cause an overproduction stress hormones and a suppression of immune function.

So, now the gold question: How do we reverse all of this?

There’s a new study dedicated to all of this called psychoneuroimmunology. The best way that Danna has found to take the study off the paper and into real life to intervene in the influence of stress on immunity, is hypnotherapy.

The mind and body are resilient and have the innate healing power, yet sometimes they just need a bit of guidance.

Her message is: If you can heal your mind, you can heal your life.

In the video below she exposes the connection between your mind, who you think you are and the potential onset of disease:

 

Credits: The words of this article are of Danna Pycher.

This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at http://ted.com/tedx.

About Danna Pycher

Danna Pycher is a certified Neuro-Linguistic Hypnotherapist specializing in chronic illness and trauma. She is also a motivational speaker and coach. Her first book 3rd Generation and Beyond is a beautiful, powerful book of life philosophies according to a third generation Holocaust descendant. ” A must read for the young and old who are trying to find an identity or just need a reminder on how to appreciate the little things in life.” She enjoyed many years in broadcasting as an on-camera host, reporter, and producer working in the fields of health reporting and corporate productions. Her curiosity about the nature of human beings is what guides her professional pursuits. Visit her website.

Have you ever wondered why you can’t change your life?

Do you begin to make a positive change and then slip back into old habits? Read on to find out why…

Before we discuss the main subject, let’s talk about the function of your subconscious mind for a minute. Its purpose is to create mental programs and habits which allow your mind to run on autopilot. From basic programs like breathing, all the way up to how we speak, how we stand, even how we eat. And for your subconscious, the more programs it has the better. If there is a program for a certain situation that is stored in your mind, your subconscious feels safe. It has experienced that thing before and knows the parameters and how it should act in that situation.

Your Subconscious Doesn’t Like Change

Because of this, the subconscious mind abhors change. All change is viewed as uncharted territory and therefore dangerous. And it will do everything in its power to stop this change from manifesting in your life, purely out of fear and self-preservation.

Have you ever been so anxious about trying something new that you were shaking at the thought of it? If you have, yet still pushed yourself to do this thing, you will remember the absolute relief that comes over you after you’ve done it for the first time. That terror is the subconscious trying to hold you back, trying to keep you from progressing, without realizing it. Yet as soon as you have completed something new, just once, the subconscious has a program it can draw upon and most of the anxiety will have dissipated at this point.

How to Make your Subconscious Stop Holding you Back

Now the ‘new thing’ that you are trying to achieve may be an emotional or non-physical state. Such as happiness, health or success. Even so, your subconscious will still treat it as uncharted territory and therefore dangerous. The key to getting past this is to simply push on, hard though it may be. Keep going, keep trying, keep succeeding and you will shock your subconscious into creating a new mental image of itself. A mental image that is successful, intelligent and progressing in life. Every success you have along the way will help the subconscious in believing you are a successful person.

Allow me to explain. Picture a set of scales in your mind. Every time you push through the barrier and achieve what you set out to achieve, whether big or small, one ‘success coin’ is placed on the right side of the scale. The more you achieve, the more coins you collect and the easier it is to push the scale in your direction, until the scales literally tip to your advantage and success becomes the default mental program for you.

After this happens, you won’t have to work as hard to achieve your goals and as soon as you’ve set your mind on something, it’s almost guaranteed to manifest for you. The most impressive change I have experienced with this ‘tipping of the scales’ is how much confidence you will suddenly have. Nothing seems insurmountable anymore, your perspective will completely change and you will actually welcome challenges due to the fact that you know you can achieve them and achieving things feel good.

Watch: Remove Subconscious Blockages

Below are some suggestions which will help you in manifesting this change:

  • Always keep a positive mental attitude -If something goes wrong, change your plan, not your goal and try not to be frustrated or disheartened by the little things.
  • Always keep your end goal in mind -Repeat it to yourself throughout the day, remind yourself why you are working so hard.
  • Always push yourself to try new things -Repetition and experience is how the subconscious learns. Try new things, succeed at them and move on to the next step.

So keep your head up high, keep pushing on, keep working towards your dreams. For once you have achieved one, like a domino effect, you will naturally achieve the rest. Take back control of your mind. Change your life!